Skrillmau5 Sequel
by MyLittleSongbird
Summary: If you're new to my writing, please read 'Skrilmau5' before beginning this story! 2 years later, Joel and Sonny are content and happy, housed and comfortable. Someone of Sonny's past comes to visit town, and Sonny is struggling with personal and public issues between his music-making, the mystery boy and Joel. What will happen?
1. Chapter 1 Right On Time

**AN: I have decided to abort the story I was working on to write you this, my wonderful reviewers (:**

**Please enjoy ;)**

* * *

_**February (2 years later)**_

A sweaty, jumpy, dancey, and crazy couple of years have gone by. 12th grade for Sonny Moore was almost over, and Joel was still intact with his job, well on his way to fame. Sonny has been known as _"Skrillex" _across the city, and Joel as _"Deadmau5". _Joel used his money to buy himself a laptop and joined a chat server to connect with his fans. The name _The Deadmouse _was too long for the server though, so he shortened it to _Deadmau5. _It had a unique twist to it that the community approved of, so he changed his name. His mouse head, however, had been such a successful image that engineers and had _begged_ to improve the model, which consisted of LED lighting and flashers. Joel was completely and utterly happy until...

"What the _fuck_ do you mean _'this place is closing down'_?" Joel growled over his iPhone in Sonny's living room.

Sonny sat at his computer, sipping some Coca Cola as he heard this. He perked up and looked straight at Joel. Meowington's jumped from Sonny's grasp in fear and hid under the table.

"We had such an amazing audience! We were getting from 200 to 350 people a week! People even fucking wait _outside _till the doors closed, and you're telling me that the place is fucking _shutting down?_"

"Joel...?" Sonny asked, rising slowly from his seat. Joel shot an index finger up at Sonny. He sat back down.

"You found a _what?" _Joel sighed and rubbed his temples, "How the fuck are we supposed to make money now?" He exclaimed. A few minutes passed and Joel rolled his eyes, "Tell your boss he's a fucking lunatic... yeah okay... bye." He tapped the screen and sighed, flopping down on the sofa.

Sonny bit his lip and stood up again. He tip-toed over to the sofa and sat down next to Joel. He put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a quick rub.

"You okay?" He asked in hushed concerned.

"No I'm not fucking okay," Joel growled and leaned forward to put his face in his hands, "They're shutting down the Sunset Centre because some jackass decided to start a big gang-fight the other day and ended up putting a kid's ass in the hospital." Joel shook his head slowly, "And when the cops came, they _also _found out that the club had an expired liquor license, prostitution, _and_ it didn't comply with safety measures because they only had _one_ fucking fire extinguisher..."

Sonny grazed his teeth along his bottom lip and then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He planted a soft kiss to Joel's temple, which made him turn his head to look at Sonny.

"So I guess this means we'll have to look for another?" Sonny asked quietly.

"Yeah..." Joel shrugged.

He looked over at Sonny, who was smiling quietly to himself. Joel raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smile back.

"What's with the smile?" He asked.

Sonny looked at Joel and leaned forward to quickly peck Joel's lips. Joel smiled and ran a large hand through Sonny's hear. He held onto the back of Sonny's neck and brought him close to deepen the kiss. Sonny smiled into the kiss and ran a hand up Joel's thigh. Joel pulled away and raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away, "Nu-uh, you need to finish your homework. Remember that test you told me you had tomorrow?"

"What test?" Sonny whispered and ghosted his lips over Joel's. Joel tried to resist.

"Sonny, stop it! As much as I want to bang you, you need to get good grades!" Joel quickly got up from the couch and grabbed Meowingtons.

Sonny frowned and sighed, "Well, I guess I _should_ do my math... but it's just too hot in this apartment to even _think_..." Sonny slowly and seductively began to peel off his shirt.

"Fuck..." Joel held Meowingtons in front of his eyes to take his attention off Sonny.

Sonny smiled mischievously at Joel's reaction and then fanned his face with his hand, "You know what? It's still way too hot," Joel looked back at Sonny and watched him remove his pants. He cleared his throat and began to walk out of the room. Sonny smiled widely and put down his glasses on the table; he ran after Joel.

"No!" Joel shrieked and ran into Sonny's room and closed the door, "Do your homework!"

"Not until you fuck me!" He exclaimed and banged his fists on the door, "Joel Zimmerman! You get out here and take me or else I'm leaving this country!" Sonny gave up and fell to the floor. He looked at the ground and waited for Joel to come out.

After a while, when Joel thought it was safe, he creaked the door open a crack to see Sonny's displeased face. He chuckled and opened the door fully to see the shorter boy with messed hair, bare-chested, and only in black cotton socks and boxer briefs sitting on the wooden floor.

"You _would _feel cooler if you took off those ridiculous socks," Joel smiled. Sonny stuck out his tongue at Joel, who leaned down and caught it with his index finger and thumb, "You know, for a 17 year old boy, you sure don't act like one," He kissed the side of Sonny's cheek and walked away.

Sonny cringed at the salty taste and rolled back to lay flat on the floor and stare up at the ceiling. He didn't want to do math, he knew he was failing anyway and there was only 4 months until school ended. He didn't want to tell Joel he was failing though, because all adults usually bond over something and end up telling each other what terrible things Jimmy said about their daughter. Joel was 21 and Sonny's mom was 34. They. _A__lways._ Talked.

It was February and it was surprisingly raining outside. The weather had been weird the past couple of weeks, but Sonny didn't seem to care much. Sonny couldn't concentrate because he was too busy studying the beat of the rain drops hitting against the window sill. He got up to grab his laptop and record the beats, but Joel glared at Sonny from his spot on the couch. Sonny scowled and sat back down.

"Can I have a cigarette at least?" Sonny whined, watching as Joel blew the smoke out the window and shake his head. "Why not?"

"Because your mom put me at babysitting duty today and I don't want to get in shit if she finds out you've been smoking," He flicked the butt out the window, "Trust me, mom's have special instinct,"

Sonny rolled his eyes and rubbed his fingers to his temples slowly, trying to read the question over again.

_"Two cars started from the same point, at 5 am, traveling in opposite directions at 40 and 50 mph respectively. At what time will they be 450 miles apart?"_

Sonny stared at the question for about half an hour before raising his hand. Joel looked up and snorted.

"Yes, student Mr. Moore?" He asked in a deep voice.

Sonny looked at Joel alarmingly and then quickly put his hand down. He blushed. Joel laughed and got up from the couch.

"What is it, love?" He asked, kissing the side of Sonny's forehead and then wrapped his arms lightly around Sonny's neck as he was shown the question, "Oh, simple. Think about it Sonny, after such and such hours, the distance of... let's name the first distance..." Joel looked around and saw the black and white lump rolled up into a ball on the couch and smiled, "Meowingtons. And distance number 2 is... Skrillex." He rubbed Sonny's hair, "So Meowingtons and Skrillex, in miles per hour, travelled by the two cars are given by 40 t and 50 t, as the two distances shown." Joel wrote down the equation on the lined piece of paper, "And then after so many hours, the distance separating the two cars are given by distance equals Meowingtons plus Skrillex equals 40 t plus 50 t which, in the end, equals 90 t... The distance should be equal to 440 miles when distance equals 90 t which would equal to 440 miles." He bit the end of his pencil and then shook his head and erased something. "No, that's not right... it would be 4_50_, not 440..." He tapped the pencil against the table and then nodded approvingly.

Sonny raised his eyebrow as he continued to watch in awe.

"And to find the time for distance to be 450 miles... you would find out this equation for t to obtain 5 hours... so that must mean that at 5 am, plus 5 hours -equalling 10. So 10 am is when the cars would meet..." Joel took a step back and looked at the paper. He nodded and patted Sonny's shoulder, then went back to his spot on the couch.

Sonny wasn't going to ask where Joel's brain suddenly decided to make an appearance, he was just going to assume that all older people knew this stuff.

"Awesome, so I'm done my homework," Sonny cheered and shut his textbook. He looked over at Joel who was reading the newspaper, "Joel... since when do _you_ read?" He asked, getting up to sit next to his boyfriend.

"No, look, it's the centre, I just wanted to see what fucked up stories they decided to put in here," He read, "_'The Sunset Centre was claimed to be the most unsecured club district since 1986,'. _What a fucking joke," Joel shook his head. Sonny grabbed the paper and continued to read.

"_'A club fight took place at one of the centre's celebration parties. Cops stood by, but slowly started to investigate more on the area. Club manager, Francesca Ginger was fined for the centres' lack of safety requirements and illegal acts of prostitution. Including an expired liquor licence, many employees lost their jobs. The DJ's of the club, going by popular identity names as_ Deadmau5, _and _Skrillex,_ have recently made themselves unable to be contacted at this time, which puts frustration and curiosity around he society.'_ This is fucking bullshit," Sonny huffed and sat down next to Joel, "What are we going to do now? Find new jobs?"

"I guess so." Joel shrugged, "There's an opening at the convenience store down town... maybe we can-"

"You know I can't work as a cashier, I'm shit at math." Sonny gave Joel a distraught look.

"No, but you can stalk shelves and stuff," Joel sighed and ran a hand down his face, "Man, I can't do that either, too much work."

Sonny giggled and then frowned. Music was his life. How was he supposed to just give up a dream like that? At least he's made an effort. He was still so proud of how far he and Joel had gone. They'd dated for 2 whole years and had a career for 2 whole years, but it didn't seem like the progress was... well... progressing. It seemed like he was missing something out of everything. Him being with Joel openly was the best thing that has ever happened to him, but something seemed to be strange. What if Joel was keeping some big secret from him? He wouldn't do that though... that seemed very unlikely according to their status. But what if...?

Sonny shook the thought out of his head and scratched lightly at his temple, thinking about job options.

"We could ask my mom?" Sonny suggested. Joel laughed and looked lovingly at Sonny. Sonny raised an eyebrow.

"We can ask your mom..." He repeated and laughed. Sonny was still very confused, "Sonny, we can't ask your mom."

"Why not?" Sonny asked, stroking Meowington's soft fur, "She's helped me before."

"It's just... not cool," Joel shrugged, "Oh, hey mom, so me and my boyfriend just lost our jobs and were wondering if you can write our resumes for us 'cuz we don't have the slightest fucking clue about what we're doing or how to even associate with people,"

"I know how to associate with people... maybe not _you_," Sonny shrugged and peered up at Joel.

"You're right," Joel threw his hands up in surrender, "I hate people." He grabbed Meowingtons and pointed towards the kitchen, "Make me a sandwich,"

Sonny scowled at Joel, but got up and willingly walked into the kitchen, "So what do you suggest we do?" Sonny asked, taking out the bread and stacking two separate bread slices, one for himself.

Joel shrugged and then looked at the paper, "Oh? Looky here, Skrilly," Joel snickered and picked up the paper, "There's a strip club!"

Sonny raised his eyebrows at Joel, "Fuck you." He slapped some cheese on the bread, "What do you want on your sandwich? Mustard?" He blobbed some mustard on the bread as well.

"No! Don't you understand? This is perfect!" Joel jumped from his seat, "You have the face, the body, the courage, and the body to pull off this job!"

"You said body twice... now put the paper down and tell me what to put on your sammich." Sonny gritted his teeth.

"Sonny, just think about it for a sec! You would make hundreds a night and not even need a resu-"

"Joel-fucking-Zimmerman!" Sonny slammed his fist against the sandwich, annoyed as hell with Joel's jokes. He was sick and tired of the laughing. It was no time to laugh. There was no way in hell he was even going to _consider _joining a strip club, let alone let Joel insult him in his own home, "God dammit," Sonny mumbled and grabbed a towel to clean up the mustard that had gotten on his white t-shirt.

Joel froze and stared at Sonny for a while. He dropped his hand to his side again and took a deep breath, "What, Sonny? What is it?"

"It's not funny... you know how insecure I am about myself..." Sonny said quietly and put the towel on the counter. He sighed and looked at the sandwich, "Now... what do you want on your sandwich?"

Joel pressed his lips together and slowly walked into the kitchen. He tried to look at Sonny's face, but every time he made the effort, Sonny would just look away. Joel held Sonny's face in his hands finally and forced him to look up. Sonny's eyes were brimmed with tears. Joel pressed his lips softly against Sonny's until he felt the younger boy respond in rhythm. Joel pulled away and wiped a tear from the boy's cheek.

"You are beautiful." He said seriously, not cracking a smile. Not looking away. Sonny leaned into his chest and sighed. Joel just held him there, stroking his thick, wiry hair.

* * *

After a while, the boy's were watching a movie in the living room, cuddled up under the blanket. Joel had a leg pushed between Sonny's leg and once in a while he would slowly move it upward against Sonny's crotch, just to hear the younger boy moan or gasp. Every time Joel had been successful, he would smile to himself and kiss Sonny's hair. Meowingtons joined Sonny's stuffed toy red panda on the floor.

A click was heard by the boys and Sonny's mom walked into the apartment.

"Hey Sonny, hello Joel," She waved at them and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Sonny's mom!" Joel smiled and waved, but realized he was too late.

"Joel, for the last time, call me Francis!" She laughed and then sighed, "Sonny! Come and clean this up! There's condiments all over the kitchen counter!" Francis shrieked.

Joel snickered, "C_ondom_-ents," Sonny laughed and elbowed Joel, slipping away from his grasp. For a 21-year-old man, Joel still acted no older then 15.

As Sonny walked into the kitchen, he glanced at his 8th grade graduation picture. He was standing proudly with his mom and dad at his side. His dad... he wasn't even a dad to him anymore.

Sonny's dad, Scott, had come back from his work trip a week after Sonny's birthday. When he laid eyes on his son, he almost cried in disappointment. Sonny shrugged it off and remembered his mom's first reaction to his new appearance. She thought the hair was kind of cool now, but she still didn't fully approve of the lip studs. Sonny had instantly came out to his father at dinner that same night, which was obviously a mistake. Scott had gotten very angry and began to blame his mom for "encouraging" Sonny while he was gone. They had argued for a while and was yelling at Francis until Sonny interfered. He was hit by the back of Scott's strong hand for speaking up. His dad had called him an "ugly faggot" which bit Sonny to the very core everytime he looked at himself in the mirror. Francis had stepped in front of Sonny with the kitchen knife. In surprise, Sonny saw the police run in and carry his father away. Apparently one of the neighbours had called the police because of all the screaming. They were sent a large fruit basket the next day from Francis.

After that, nobody ever talked about Sonny's dad.

But when Sonny told Joel about what happened, him being the curious type and all, Joel threatened to beat 7 kinds of shit out of Scott for hurting his boyfriend. Sonny felt both bewildered, but he was severely attracted toward Joel and treated him to a blowjob. So that's how _that _happened...

"Sorry mom," Sonny apologized and quickly wiped the counter.

"That's alright," She patted her son's head, "Oh, which reminds me, I got you a new electronic razor, we should probably get that hair fixed soon," She laughed and rubbed the three-inch long hair that awkwardly poked from the left side of Sonny's head.

"Sounds good. Thanks!" He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"After dinner though, what does your boyfriend want?" Francis asked, unloading the groceries onto the counter, "And don't let him say '_nothing'_ because that boy needs to eat something,"

Sonny chuckled and peered out the kitchen door at his boyfriend laying down on the couch, still buried into the movie.

Till this day, Sonny still begged Joel to live with them, but Joel was renting out Sofi's basement, which he confessed had a better space for Meowingtons to run around in. His cat... cat's don't need a big space to run around in. Especially not Meowingtons. That cat did nothing but eat, sleep, snuggle, and poop. But Joel insisted he was fine, so Sonny didn't push the envelope any further.

"Mom, he has a really high metabolism, he can't help it," Sonny shrugged and waved at Joel, who waved back happily, "Joel! What do you want for dinner, man?"

Joel peeled his eyes off the TV to look at Sonny and then waved his hand dismissively, "Nothing, thanks,"

Francis sighed. Sonny just laughed.

* * *

That night, Joel took Meowingtons under his arm and smiled down at Sonny. Sonny smiled back and leaned up to kiss the taller man.

"Tomorrow. Job hunting. 7 o' clock." Joel winked and turned to leave the apartment.

Sonny just sighed and wished Joel would've stayed longer. Possibly the night. Joel hasn't spent the night at Sonny's for 5 months. He missed their late-night talks and popcorn with pickle juice. Sonny felt like a teenage girl, but he just couldn't help himself. He loved watching chick-flicks with Joel, even if Joel kept making fun of how much the male actors looked like complete dumbasses.

As Francis pulled the loud, buzzing razor over Sonny's hair, he couldn't help but look in the mirror. He frowned. The scars on his face seemed to get worse. His skin condition was intolerable. He spent most of his earnings on getting his face fixed, but nothing had worked successfully. He felt so lost. So ugly. He doesn't make many friends, so maybe that was the reason? He just sighed and looked down at his hands, but a glimmer of hope shone through his spine. He thought of Joel. He was just glad he_ had_ Joel. That was all he really needed.

"What's wrong?" Francis asked, shutting the buzzer off to clean it.

Sonny shrugged and looked back into the mirror, "Nothing,"

"Come on, I'll make us a banana split," She smiled and looked in the mirror at Sonny. He smiled and looked away from his reflection again.

His mom had really lightened up to the fact he was gay. She didn't really change anything but her love for Sonny. Sometimes he thought she only did that because she was afraid he was going to try to kill himself again. But then again, what mother _wouldn't _do that? The careless ones, that's who. Sonny was just so happy at the fact that everything was going normally and perfectly fine. He didn't even miss his dad. His dad was one of the reasons why Francis was so depressed and took out her anger on her son. Sonny understood that now, and he never stopped to doubt his mom.

Sonny was completely and utterly happy... for now, at least

* * *

**AN: So thank you guys for reading! Reviews would be absolutely fantastic! This story will hopefully be better then the first about these two (: Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of the second segment of "Skrillmau5"!**


	2. Chapter 2 First Of The Year

**AN: Thank you all for your loving reviews! :D I'm glad you're liking this story so-far (: And to an anon called "Nins", can you possibly Private Message me with your question? Fanfiction won't allow me to answer to anons :/ So please and thanks!**

**Here is the second chapter of this story! Please enjoy!**

* * *

The next day Sonny popped his eyes open from the loud radio alarm that began to get a bit fuzzy in connection. He yawned and flung his arm out at the alarm, shutting it off. He lay for a couple minutes more and stared sleepily at the ceiling. He had had a dream. A dream where he was flaunting about on stage. Flashing lights here and there, people cheering and cat-calling. He had thought it weird and just decided that it was because he didn't go to work the day before. He had gotten ready for it and grabbed his laptop, about to leave with Joel, but Joel held him back and reminded him lightly that there would be no more performances.

Sonny frowned at his ceiling, not wanting to go back to sleep now, and rolled out of bed. He got dressed in his uniform and stood in front of the mirror, not paying any attention to his face, and tousled his hair lightly to the right side to show off his half-shaved head. The peers and teachers at his school have gotten quite used to his outrageous style. At one point a girl even tried to copy it, but they ended up just shaving the rest of their hair off. Sonny smiled to himself at the thought and pushed his glasses onto his nose. Nobody could outdo his do. He grabbed his books, his bag, an apple, his long coat and scarf, and walked out the door.

His shoes patted lightly in the slush that the rain the other day had created. He kicked a tiny pile in front of him and smiled. A few snowmen in the distance were melted and lopsided, and tall snow hills shrunk twice the size it used to be. Sonny was still surprised that their was snow on his pathway.

He took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long, hard drag on it until it filled his lungs, and then blew the smoke out into the air, trying to create a ring. But failed.

He entered school after putting out his cigarette and walked to his locker. No notes. No looks. A couple stares from visitors and volunteers here and there, but he's learned to deal with it. He put his coat and scarf and books into the locker. He fumbled over his math book and it fell out of his grasp.

"Shit..." He whispered and leaned down to grab it, but stopped when he saw a pair of Nikes standing in front of him. He looked up and saw a boy with large, blue eyes, smiling down at him. He pressed his lips together.

"Here," He offered, leaning down to pick up the book. He handed it to Sonny, "Rad hair. I'm Rudy Hassell, you must be Sonny Moore," He smiled.

This very action made Sonny hold his breath. This boy had the most gorgeous smile he has ever seen... so familiar... his jaw instantly dropped and he blinked.

"I-I remember you!" Sonny exclaimed, "You went to the same school I did in LA! Rudy! How have you been, man?" Sonny held out a hand to the taller boy. Rudy raised an eyebrow and chuckled. He instead wrapped his arms around Sonny's shoulders into a firm hug. Sonny's stomach did a full loop before he could connect the hug.

"I've been good! I can't believe I didn't know you went here! I've been here since the beginning of the school year!" He laughed.

"Oh? Why'd you move out here?" Sonny asked. Rudy shrugged.

"Parents found a better job here, surprisingly." He laughed, "So how's it going with you? You changed quite a bit. At first I didn't recognize you. I actually had to ask someone who the fuck you were,"

Sonny rubbed the back of his neck, "Oh well, you know... stuff,"

Someone bumped into Rudy and started to laugh. Rudy looked like he blushed and quickly slapped the girls away. Sonny raised an eyebrow as he looked to the ground and shook his head, laughing. He looked back at Sonny and smiled.

"How about we talk more later. I'll take you out to lunch? My treat," He smiled a full-toothed smile.

"Sound great! Thanks," Sonny nodded and smiled back.

"Can I text you sometime? Just so we can hang out more? I miss you, man," He pouted. Sonny laughed and nodded, taking his phone out of his pocket and handing it over to Rudy. Rudy did the same and then they went back to school.

* * *

"Stupid... stupid... _really _fucking stupid..." Joel scanned page-after-page in a large YellowPages book, searching for job openings anywhere possible.

It was hard finding a job in mid February, he knew that, but how was he supposed to afford a home for him and Sonny to live in when he just had enough to rent Sofi's basement? He's been planning and saving up until he had enough money to pay for an apartment, at the least. He already decided that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sonny, that was why he never agreed to live with him in the first place. He needed the privacy and his own space to really save _anything_. Sonny was snoopy, and Joel didn't have a bank account, so all his savings were hidden in a locked up brief case under some floor boards in Sofi's basement. Pretty top-secret stuff, so Joel assumed. Joel didn't want Sonny to just one day find the case and open it and see all the money he had. He wanted to surprise him with it. For now at least.

"You've been staring at the same book for a week now, Joel," Sofi trotted in the dining room with a coffee mug in hand and dark circles under her eyes, "Why don't you read the new paper? It probably has better options,"

"I refuse to start anything new without finishing something old," Joel mumbled and flipped the page again, "Besides, why are you pestering me? Shouldn't you be at school learning and stuff?"

Sofi shrugged, "I don't feel good, so I stayed home," She sat heavily on a chair next to Joel and sipped her coffee, "That sucks about the whole losing your job thing, but even I'm not getting all worked up about it," She yawned.

Joel glared at her, "You worked their for a month until they found out that you were younger then 18,"

"Hey now," She threw her hands up in surrender, "I didn't know they asked for ID at that place to get drinks... how did Sonny get drinks?"

"I bought them for him," Joel shrugged and sighed, shutting the book, "So what are you going to do today?"

Sofi shrugged and bit her lip, "Maybe bake a cake? Wanna help?" She looked lazily over at Joel. He shrugged and they almost simultaneously got out of their seats and into the kitchen.

* * *

Sonny stood by his locker, gathering $5 out of his backpack and putting on his coat and scarf. It was almost 2 minutes later when Rudy smiled and sped down the hallway to meet Sonny. He hugged him again. Sonny thought it was strange that Rudy loved hugging so much. He guessed it was because Rudy was trying to get used to having his old friend back. Sonny agreed that he did change _alot._ He wasn't a very huggy guy unless it was with Joel, and even then he didn't hug him often.

"So how's your mom? She still working?" Rudy asked, sipping a hot chocolate.

Sonny nodded and smiled, "Yeah, she has to work a lot more now that it's just us," He chuckled. Rudy stopped smiling.

"What happened to your dad?" Rudy asked. Sonny quieted down and bit his lip.

"I'd... rather not talk about it,"He said, shrugging apologetically, "But all is good."

"Oh, no problem. But I'm glad things are working out for you guys," He smiled again. The whole room seemed to light up. Sonny looked down at his sandwich and suddenly didn't feel like eating, even though his stomach was aching for it. "You got a job yet?"

"I did, but the place closed down. It was in the newspaper,"

"I don't read, remember?" Rudy winked and sipped his drink again, "But tell me what happened."

Sonny told him about everything that happened to the centre. Rudy was surprised that he didn't even hear about Skrillex or Deadmau5, but he told Sonny that even if he heard about that, he still wouldn't listen to the music.

"I'm not a fan of electronic music, I like the older stuff like classical and rock," Rudy shrugged, "Sorry,"

"No no, don't apologize," Sonny laughed and forced himself to casually pick up his coffee and take a tiny sip. The heat soothed the aching, so he drank a bit more before putting it back down and clearing his throat.

Rudy just smiled and looked into Sonny's eyes. He remembered Rudy to be the bullying type back then in elementary school. He never really liked anyone except for Sonny and Rachel, but other then that, he pretty much despised any other sort of human contact. He never used to hug people. He never had straight, perfect teeth. His hair was never that light either. Everything Sonny knew about Rudy seemed to changed but those eyes. Sonny envied Rudy's big, blue eyes, but he wasn't sure if it was the feeling of envy that he used to know. It felt more like Rudy's eyes were luring Sonny into a deep trap every time he sullenly glanced at them. They would catch him, make him breathless, but he forced himself to look away. He looked down at his sandwich again and picked at the bread mindlessly.

"I think we should head back now," Rudy said, peering down at his watch.

Sonny agreed and they left with their unfinished lunch. Sonny was not destined to finish it though.

Sonny sat at his desk, staring at the light wood with the etched-in letters spelling out _"Slipknot". _He stared blankly at his test and picked up his pencil. He began to answer the questions as he thought, but he knew most of them were completely wrong.

* * *

Sonny got home and called for his mom, but she wasn't home yet so he grabbed a bag of popcorn and placed it into the microwave. He got settled with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in hand. He kept his arm out the window while holding it so the smoke wouldn't linger in the house. He blew the smoke out the window as he flicked through the channels on the TV. Nothing was interesting on the TV, so he settled for some cartoons until the phone started to ring. Sonny flicked his cigarette out the window and blew out the smoke quickly. He raced to the phone and answered it.

"Hey Sonny," Francis said through the receiver, "Did you want anything specific for dinner?"

Sonny shrugged, even though she couldn't see it, and then looked at the calender, "How about tacos?" He suggested, looking at the February picture of a taco dish filled with ingredients of all sorts.

"Sounds good, invite Joel over if you want," She said, "I'll be home in about 3 hours or so, traffic's supposed to be slow today,"

Sonny nodded, "Okay."

"Love you, see you soon,"

"Love you," He hung up the phone and smiled to himself, picking the phone up again and dialling Joel's number. He waited for the man's voice to be heard.

"Yo," He said. Sonny laughed.

"Come over now. Bye." He said quickly and hung up the phone.

As time ticked by, Sonny busied himself by tidying up his room, which was something he rarely did unless he was expecting company. Even though Joel insisted that Sonny relax and that it didn't matter how messy his room was that he would still love him, Sonny rebelled against it and cleaned it anyway. It's not like he was a care-free and messy child in the first place. Even when he was younger he would always clean up after himself, but at odd times he would forget. I mean, who doesn't, right? But that one time usually turns into nagging from Francis and then Sonny is reluctant to obey. He just likes making people happy, not making them satisfied.

Sonny set up a few candles on the table and lit them. He shut off the main light and flicked on the lamps beside the couch. It made the room seem warmer, including the fireplace. He and his mom had fixed the draft in the apartment as soon as they got the money to, which helped Sonny get better sleep, but also helped the space heat up faster in the winter, and cool down faster in the summer. It was a great addition to the place where Sonny called home.

He lay a blanket down on the rug in front of the fireplace and placed his pack of cigarettes and a couple condoms next to a pile of pillows. He walked by the candles again and sniffed the air. Cinnamon. He liked the smell of cinnamon, even though it was very Christmas-y to even consider it, but it set Sonny's insides to warm and cosy. He quickly ran into his bedroom and stripped off his clothing, replacing his pants and boxer-briefs with a loose pair of black track pants, and slipped on a loose white t-shirt. He replaced his lip studs with slightly spikier-studded ones and tousled his hair. He took off his glasses and set them on his vanity. He looked up at the mirror. At his reflection. He froze.

He reached up to touch his face, but was stopped by a knock at the door. He just stared at himself and had to force his eyes to look away. He shut the light off and left the washroom slowly. Joel. He sped up his pace but stopped when he reached the door. He did a breath test on his hand and then unlocked the door and slowly opened it. Joel stood there in his thin coat that he had worn every winter since their first Christmas together when Sonny had bought it for him. He smiled and let him enter. Joel smiled and raised an eyebrow when he saw the candles and dimmed lights. Before he could even take his jacket off, Sonny was already kissing his neck.

Joel chuckled and let his coat fall to floor after pushing the door closed. Sonny reached over and locked it before peeling off his shirt and standing in front of Joel, smiling darkly. Joel grinned darkly and touched Sonny's waist with freezing cold hands. Sonny gasped and let out a moan when Joel's hands pushed under the elastic of his track pants. Sonny made a noise again when the icy touch just lightly trailed his shaft. Joel took his hands out and removed his own shirt before grabbing to the side of Sonny's neck with one hand, and his waist with the other. He rubbed his thumb under Sonny's ear which sent tiny shocks right through Sonny's body. Sonny felt empowerment. Something had happened to him and Joel could feel it too.

Joel lifted one of Sonny's legs up onto his waist and lightly carried him like that to the living room. He chuckled when he saw the set-up.

"Expecting something?" Joel asked, raising an eyebrow at his beloved boyfriend. Sonny just blushed and shrugged.

Joel smiled and lay Sonny on his back on the blanket. Sonny ran his hand down Joel's naked torso and felt as the chilly hands of his boyfriend returned back under the elastic and took the fabric with it. Sonny closed his eyes when he felt a moist object stroke up his shaft slowly. He gasped softly when lips enclosed over the head of his cock and engulfed him whole with one sudden movement. Sonny moaned and grabbed at Joel's hair.

Rough teeth ground upward and Sonny's knees quickly jolted as he bit his lip, trying so hard as to not cum so early. A warmed hand mindlessly massaged under him as Joel pulled away and looked up into chocolate brown eyes. Sonny just closed his eyes and threw his head back when he felt a finger trying to enter him without lubricant.

"J-Joel," Sonny stuttered. Joel leaned up and kissed Sonny's lips.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you," He whispered hoarsely into Sonny's ear which made his hard on increase.

He continued to penetrate Sonny as he kissed down his thigh slowly, leaving a trail of wetness behind his tongue. Sonny sighed and felt his hips being raised from the ground. Joel rested Sonny's legs around his waist after disposing of his own jeans. He ran his fingers up Sonny's body and smiled lovingly down into his eyes. Sonny smiled back, but then stopped as watched as Joel tore the condom package with his teeth.

"Stop," Sonny said said, leaning forward and placing a hand on Joel's. He raised and eyebrow as Sonny took the condom away from Joel, "I trust you," He whispered.

Joel just stared at Sonny with disbelief as the younger boy smiled again. Joel took a deep breath and nodded, looking over at the tiny bottle of lubricant. He pressed his lips together as he stroked himself with the serum and readied his cock against Sonny's entrance.

"I love you," Joel whispered, almost in a promising tone, and held on tightly to Sonny's waist.

"I love you too," Sonny whispered back and closed his eyes as he felt Joel's member sink deep inside him.

He gasped and continued to feel every inch of the man he loved. He would never want Joel to feel out of place. He would never want his boyfriend to feel like he was dirty. Sonny trusted the man with every ounce of his being.

A few weeks before Sonny's 17th birthday, Joel had gone to the doctor's. He signed himself up for health care and decided, for Sonny's sake, to get checked for any diseases, even though he has never gone in without a condom. Joel liked to be safe, which was something Sonny admired. And even _if _Joel had an STD, Sonny promised him he would love him all the same.

Joel didn't know how to feel about the situation then. He felt happy, relieved, but also scared. Not scared in the sense that he was going to hurt his beloved, though he always secretly worried in the back of his mind.

2 years and everything was still perfect, 2 whole fucking years have gone by without one bad argument, one fable disagreement. Not a single, violent fight was ensued. Everything was beautiful until Sonny's cell phone started to ring.

* * *

**AN: CLIFFHANGER. DON'T KILL ME. **


	3. Chapter 3 Hi Friend

**AN: Hey everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while... there's a lot of drama in my family and I just haven't had the time nor inspiration to write. So very sorry again! This seems to happen a lot to me, so I apologize :/**

**~~FACT TIME!~~**

**I want this story to be enjoyable but to also give the illusion of a real-life situation. So for those who say this story is turning to an "angst" type, I'm sorry to say but even in my last story we were dealing with Sonny's teen angst. The reason being is because Sonny in real life DID have this problem about insecurity and bullying, that's why he shaved half his head, to wean himself away from his fears of being judged because of the scars on his face. He was so insecure about his face because he has a hormonal imbalance, which caused his skin to break out like crazy and leave scars. He thought himself ugly. Listen to the song "Waltz Moore" by FFTL. He wrote that song about himself. Maybe that will clear up a couple things for you. **

**It's simple: If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.**

**But thanks a bunch anyway for all the very positive reviews! Very much appreciated! :D ****Please enjoy chapter 3 of "Skrillmau5 Sequel" (:**

* * *

"What do you mean you gotta go?" Joel asked, tugging his boxers back on.

"I'm really sorry, Joel," Sonny said, quickly pulling on his shirt, "This is kind of important though, he's stranded!"

"Sonny, couldn't you have helped him some other time?" Joel sat on the floor and rubbed his eyes, "Can't he just call emergency? It's not like he doesn't have reception," He motioned towards the phone that rested in Sonny's pocket.

"Joel, if one of your friends had their motorcycle break down on the free-way, wouldn't you run to the rescue?" Sonny asked, flipping a scarf around his neck.

"I don't have any friends," Joel smiled a smart-ass smile.

Sonny sighed and held Joel's coat in the air. He nodded toward it and Joel sighed, getting up and hooking an arm around Sonny's waist. He pulled him into a soft kiss and then looked into the big pools of deep cognac.

"You are such a good friend," Joel smiled sarcastically. Sonny pushed him off himself and laughed.

As Joel drove the old, silver pick-up down the streets, Sonny watched his concentration as Joel searched the signs that lead to the free-way. Sonny admired how much Joel cared, even if he pretended, he did a good job at making Sonny feel better.

Sometimes Sonny would hope that Joel would become his own person. It seemed like everything Joel did now was to make Sonny happy, but even the very thought of that made Sonny feel somewhat sick to the stomach. He didn't want his boyfriend to turn out like one of those brainwashed partners that does anything he's asked. Even the sex just moments ago didn't feel as embracing as the first time they did it. Even without the condom Sonny didn't feel like he was close enough to Joel. It seemed like Joel was scared, but still continued to do whatever Sonny wanted. He hated not hearing his boyfriend's opinion. Was it so hard to just say you didn't want to? Why do you constantly keep me guessing? You have a voice, Joel, use it. Sonny's eyes started to tear up, but he quickly rubbed at them with his palms. The last thing he needed right now was for Joel to mindlessly comfort him.

They saw a flashing light in the distance as Joel crept the car to a slowed stop in front of it. A man about Joel's height looked up and squinted at the car. Joel shut the high-beams off and looked over at Sonny. Sonny leapt out of the car and waved shyly at Rudy.

"Hey stranger," Sonny laughed.

"Thank you so much for helping me out, Sonny," Rudy said with a huge sigh of relief, "The tow-trucks are way too expensive these days,"

"No problem at all. My friend is just waiting in the truck," Sonny looked back at Joel as he watched the smoke tail out of the small crack in the window. Sonny sighed, "We'll help you get it into the back."

"Allow me," Rudy smiled and began to drag his bike through the gravel.

It didn't sound very healthy for the tires. Sonny contemplated on helping out, but he knew he couldn't do much. He looked back at Joel and saw him laugh. Sonny frowned at the rudeness of his boyfriend and told Rudy to wait up. Sonny trotted over to Joel and all went silent as the window was rolled down all the way and the smoke spilled from the truck.

"Yes, love?" Joel asked and raised an eyebrow.

"I need you to help Rudy get the bike into the pick-up," Sonny motioned his head toward his friend and watched Joel roll his eyes, "And don't mention to him that we're in a relationship,"

Joel raised his eyebrows and paused, cigarette hanging from his lips, "Sorry, what?" He asked in a mumble.

"I don't know much about this guy, and I don't want to anger a homophobic,"

"He's a homophobe?" Joel grew angry and opened the car door. Sonny took a step back and nearly tripped, "We'll see about that."

"Joel! I just said I don't know much about him! I don't know if he's a homophobe, and I don't want to find out right now. Just please, don't," Sonny begged.

Joel looked down into Sonny's eyes and sighed. After reluctantly helping Rudy secure the bike in place, they drove off. Rudy sat in the passenger seat as Sonny took the back to be a good host. Joel's eyes didn't look too thrilled about that either. Rudy wouldn't shut up. He went on and on about his dad's new job, and his new job, and how his mom already found work and how his sister was being enrolled in becoming an English teacher. Sonny could see Joel's shoulders tense up severely. Sonny tried not to laugh, but all humour was gone when Joel took a new route and parked in the lot of an auto shop. Sonny glowered at his boyfriend.

"Joel..." He threatened.

"Get out," Joel ignored Sonny and pointed to the passenger door.

Rudy looked all scared, shocked, and confused for a moment. You knew when Joel was seriously annoyed, even without the growl in his voice. His eyes would seem an unnatural calm, but his mouth would frequently twitch and when he's had enough, his lips would stretch into a straight line.

"W-what?" Rudy asked, clearly alarmed.

"You heard me, get out," Joel said, "Use your wealth and your money and your smarts and get the fuck out of my truck and go fix your god-damned bike,"

Rudy couldn't stop staring at Joel in disbelief. Sonny was furious.

"Joel, seriously stop it. Rudy, you can stay, we'll drive you home," Sonny said, glaring at Joel. Joel was looking at Rudy menacingly. It overruled and Rudy shook his head.

"I should get it fixed... thanks for the ride and everything," Rudy nodded slowly to Joel and then looked at Sonny and smiled, "See you at school tomorrow, Sonny," He smiled and shut the door behind him.

All went silent, once again, until Rudy got the bike out of the truck. Joel sped away. Sonny sat at the back seat with his arms folded over his chest. He really had nothing to say to Joel. He was so frustrated and shocked at how Joel treated their guest. Joel had a terrible attitude, no wonder it's hard for him to make friends. No... I shouldn't be thinking that to myself... Joel's a wonderful friend and an even better boyfriend... it just... takes time to lighten up to him... that's what I did at least...

Sonny decided it was best to let the situation pass. He knew Joel. He knew Joel held grudges. He knew Joel hated being pestered with so many questions. So they just went back to Sonny's house and Joel tucked him in bed.

"I guess there's no sex tonight," Joel shrugged. Sonny frowned as Joel took off his boyfriend's glasses and set them on the night table.

He perched at the edge of Sonny's bed and sighed, "I know I was acting like a complete douche-bag out there, but I'm sorry... I'm not going to let some inconceivable prick run his mouth about how wonderful and easy his life is and how much his parents love him and all that bullshit..."

"Shh, I know," Sonny whispered and slowly sat up, but Joel pushed him back down and leaned down to press a kiss into his slightly parted lips. Joel's tongue stroked the roof of Sonny's mouth which made his toes curl.

Joel pulled back and looked Sonny in the eyes, "I love you," He whispered.

"I love you more," Sonny whispered back and Joel smiled, pressing one last tender kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

That morning Sonny was surprised to see Rudy and a couple of girls standing by his locker. He slowed to a stop infront of his locker and smiled at Rudy. He looked at the two very attractive females that seemed too happy to be at school. Sonny didn't understand. He's never seen these girls before...

"Hey Sonny, this is Carissa and Arien, two of the first friends I've ever made here," He smiled and patted their shoulders.

Sonny waved at them shyly and quickly turned his face away from them to put his things in his locker. They were the same girls that purposely bumped into Rudy when he was talking to Sonny... they were probably friendly.

"I think we should get lunch together today to talk a bit, how about it man?" Rudy asked with a wink and nudged his shoulder. One of the girls with long dirty blond hair giggled, and the redhead nudged her hard. Sonny raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, absolutely," Sonny nodded quickly and grabbed his books to his first class. Rudy smiled widely.

Rudy was standing in front of the school as Sonny peered over from his locker. He was having strange thoughts about the boy. He seemed to content and casual about everything going on in the world. Sonny read the school newspaper for the first time ever when Rudy had mentioned he was in it. It seemed to Sonny that this boy was involved in every school group possible. The indoor tennis team; anime club; save-the-planet campaign; he was even president of the Glee club. Sonny didn't even know they had one of those...

But one thing that really made Sonny wonder was why Rudy was in the LGBT organization... there was nothing wrong with a straight guy joining the group, but Rudy being such a ladies-man joining? It didn't seem natural. Something felt wrong. And he realized that everybody knew him... was he popular? Sonny never saw him until this year... actually until a week ago in the cafeteria... but it never occurred to him that Rudy seemed familiar.

Rudy looked up from his book and spotted Sonny and smiled, waving him over. He was reading "Gone With The Wind"... what really fascinated Sonny was how Rudy admitted he doesn't read. And if Sonny could remember clearly, Rudy back in LA was incapable of reading anyway. By the age of 10, Sonny would have read 6 books in 2 months, and Rudy would still be stuck on a book as many pages as "Gone With The Wind" had. But nonetheless, Sonny shut his locker after getting his coat and scarf and loose change, and followed after Rudy.

"So how about your love life?" Rudy asked suddenly.

Sonny looked back up from his Starbucks hot chocolate. He's never been to Starbucks, seeing how expensive the shop really was, but Rudy insisted that he got Sonny something warm. Rudy took a sip of his own chocolate beverage, still looking into Sonny's eyes, "Got a girlfriend yet?" He asked after swallowing.

Sonny felt himself turn white. The air suddenly felt cooler and his insides turned. He gripped his cup in bare hands, trying to see if that would made a difference to his body temperature. It didn't. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he couldn't manage. Rudy raised an eyebrow. Those eyes...

"Nope. No girlfriend," Sonny croaked quickly and cleared his throat, finally ridding of the lump, "How about you?" He asked, looking down at his drink.

Rudy finally peeled his eyes off Sonny and looked down at his own drink, chuckling, "Nope. I'm a free man," He stretched his arms a little and leaned back in his chair, looking back at Sonny with those eyes.

God damn it. Those big blue eyes again. Sonny cleared his throat again and sipped the drink once more, but it seemed to have lost flavour.

"Hey Sonny, I have a question," Rudy said, narrowing his eyes at the shorter boy in front of him.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Whatever you do, please do NOT ask me about my sexuality.

Sonny nodded.

"Did you want to have dinner with me a couple friends tonight? You can bring Joel if you'd like, even though he clearly doesn't fancy me in any way," Rudy laughed and shrugged, "How about it?"

Sonny visibly sagged in relief and nodded, "That would be awesome,"

As Rudy went on to talk about his friends, Sonny was wandering off in his own mind...

Why did he freeze up? He never froze up when someone asked him about who he was dating. He would've normally came out to them in a heart beat. He was so fucking proud to be with Joel that it hurt that he couldn't wear a giant sign telling everyone who he was madly in love with. Something about Rudy though made him freeze up. Those eyes... Those fucking eyes...

When Sonny got home, he saw Joel sitting with his laptop at the dining table. Joel looked up at smiled, getting up from his seat.

"How was school?" He asked, grabbing Sonny in a loving embrace. He leaned down and pressed his lips softly to Sonny's. When they parted, Sonny wrapped his arms around Joel's waist tightly. He felt like his lungs just stopped working for a second. Sonny was hugging him... and tightly. He knew something was up, "Hey babe, what's wrong? Tell me everything," He said, bringing the boy over to the sofa.

When they sat down, Sonny rested his head on Joel's lap. Joel slowly stroked his boyfriend hair and pressed a kiss into his temple.

"Nothing, nothing, I just know how you'll react when I tell you who just invited us to dinner tonight..." Sonny said in a tiny voice. Joel rolled his eyes.

"Rudy?"

Sonny nodded. Joel just laughed and continued to stroked the tangled mess.

"That's all that's bothering you? Please, Sonny." Joel rolled his eyes.

Sonny turned his head to look up at his boyfriend with saddened eyes, "I know you don't like him, but this is the chance to start over. Start clean with him. He's not a bad guy, even though he does seem to brag alot..."

Joel sighed, "So it's just us and him? Isn't that kind of making me a third-wheel?" Joel raised an eyebrow and continued to stroke Sonny's thick hair, laughing inside at how paranoid his boyfriend can be.

"Well no, he's bringing some of his friends too,"

"Oh huray! More pretentious assholes!" Joel put on a big fake smile. Sonny smacked him on the arm and sat up, "I'm just kidding, silly Skrilly," Joel rubbed a hand on Sonny's head and tackled him, pinning his shoulders into the couch and kissed his cheek, "If I must, then I'll go. Just because I have nothing better to do tonight. But don't expect me to be all nice-nice around that clan of hipsters, I'm not in the mood to make friends,"

Sonny just smiled widely as Joel trapped him into a marvellous kiss.

The boys got dressed in nothing too fancy. Sonny decided to dress Joel, but everything he put Joel in looked too small or there were holes in them. He wondered why Joel didn't use his money to buy some decent clothes. All Joel did with his money was buy an iPhone, a new music program, and a truck. A few other tiny things were involved including stuff for his cat. And rent. That was it. Sonny actually spent most of his money on unsuccessful medication to reduce the scars on his face, but the rest of it went toward clothing and new shoes.

Sonny ended up dressing Joel in a casual white t-shirt -the only one that wasn't wrinkled or stained- and blue jeans. At least he wasn't wearing dark colours anymore. And because they were going to a restaurant, Sonny didn't want Joel to be wearing gaming shirts. He felt like a picky housewife who never gets out often, but presentation definitely makes an impact on a person.

Sonny, on the other hand, wore something lighter too. A long-sleeved bright blue shirt that he's never worn for ages, and dark wash jeans. Blue always looked good on him, even Joel admitted, but Sonny really wasn't trying to impress anyone.

As soon as Joel pulled into the parking lot, he and Sonny got out of the truck and stood side-by-side to finish their cigarettes. Joel flicked his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, blowing the smoke out into the frosty air. Sonny looked at his boyfriend as he took another drag and did the same. He was going to get Joel a new god-damned jacket that actually insulated heat if it was the last thing he did.

The interior of the restaurant was very woodsy. Sort of like an outdoorsy theme was taking place. It wasn't too wild, but the dark oak-coloured tables and beige walls with dimmed lights really made Sonny feel like home. Joel shrugged out of his jacket as soon as they were directed to their table. Rudy and 4 other friends sat at the table. Joel grimaced, but put on a strained smile as Sonny took his seat. Joel sat beside him quickly, afraid of anyone trying to steal the spot.

"Hello Sonny and Joel," Rudy smiled and nodded at them. Joel forced himself not to roll his eyes, "This is Lilah, Kyle, Lawrence, and Hannah,"

Joel gave a small, displeasing wave and Sonny smiled shyly at them. They all stared at him. Even Joel noticed. Joel hated when people stared at his boyfriend like that. It meant trouble. He tried to take their attention away from it by opening his menu quickly and slamming the pages against the table. The teenagers all jumped a bit and looked at Joel. Including Sonny, who glared.

"So, what are we all ordering?" He asked with a grin.

Once everyone ordered to the waitress, they snuck back into conversation. Joel didn't really hear what everyone else had to say, he was constantly occupied with checking the time on his iPhone every so often. Sonny didn't notice, as they were in deep focus on his look.

"So is that look inspired by Cyndi Lauper?" Lilah asked, sipping her soda. Sonny looked at her and smiled.

"I actually have no idea who that is... this was just a look that was inspired by my individuality," He looked over at Joel who was looking down at his phone, he rolled his eyes, "Actually, Joel did it,"

Joel looked up quickly at the sound of his name and noticed everyone looking at him. He put on a fake smile and then straightened his posture again, looking at his boyfriend's warning face.

He could tell this was going to be a very long night...

* * *

**AN: Thank you for surviving another chapter! Reviews are encouraged! Thank you all for reading (:**


	4. Chapter 4 Ruffneck

**AN: Hello everyone! Here is the next chapter! Please enjoy (: **

* * *

Sonny and Joel had stayed at the restaurant for hours. At least two. Joel had ate two stakes and a pound of very buttery mashed potatoes. All that talk about school and family made him bored and surprisingly hungry. Sonny had just frequently watched him eat and mentally patted himself on the back for getting Joel to finally eat something other then Jell-O and hash browns.

Rudy would often bring up his family and riches by mistake, and every time he did, Joel snapped him a look which made him quickly change the subject. Joel also learned that the rest of his friends were rich with happy families. He ordered another pound of mash to distract himself from their stupid discussions. Sonny was slowly being lured into their popularity grasps.

Joel's seen people like Rudy before. The guy who thought he could get all the chicks and all the guys wrapped around his fingers and control them. Joel knew their little mind games. He knew Sonny would be pulled in and spit out. Joel's been friends with popular people before. He actually wasthe _leader_ of popular. He used to use people and throw them away like candy wrappers. He knew the pain they must've felt being so betrayed. Joel wasn't going to let that happen to his boyfriend. No sir.

"So after the party, my uncle passes out on the deck and the dog starts liking the spilled champaign!" Lawrence announces and starts laughing.

Everyone else joins in a chorus of laughter except for Joel, who was looking down at his iPhone and playing Temple Run under the table. Sonny nudged him hard with his elbow and Joel looked up. Everyone was staring at him. He started laughing.

"That was good," He laughed some more, "Hey Sonny, tell them about the time when you got drunk at the club and some milf was rubbing all up on you and you didn't know what to do! Hilarious!" He laughed humourlessly and went back to his game.

Sonny blushed and glared at Joel. Everyone else was looking at him. Sonny knew Joel didn't want to be there, but he didn't have to be such an ass about it all. It wasn't like Sonny's been to a place Joel suggested and absolutely hated it. Sonny was about to explain himself but luckily enough, Rudy changed the subject, seeing as it was hard for Sonny to be shot up like that.

"So, has anyone heard about the party Sandra is throwing next Saturday? I heard it's going to be awesome," Rudy said, raising his eyebrows at Sonny and sipping his diet soda.

"Oh yeah! I heard she's going to have a chocolate fountain, a huge bubble machine and she also has an enormous pool with a three-story slide! She's inviting you, Sonny!" Lilah exclaimed happily, "And you can come too, Joel,"

"I'll pass," Joel mumbled.

"Sounds great!" Sonny smiled happily and elbowed Joel again, giving him a distinct look that only Sonny and his mother could ever give, "Why aren't you coming, Joel?"

"Because quite frankly I'm busy that day, Sonny," Joel looked up at Sonny with warning eyes.

"Doing what?" Sonny almost growled back.

"Stuff," Joel barked back.

"It's okay, Sonny, if Joel can't come, he can't come," Rudy gave Joel a displeasing sideways glance and then smiled at Sonny.

The rest of the night Hannah was complaining about her parents not giving her allowance. It was a huge sob story that everyone needed to comfort her for. Even Sonny offered his comfort, even though he didn't find it a big deal at all. Joel pretended to care, but was doing obviously a terrible job at it.

After dessert, Sonny announced that he had to go. It was around 9 PM and if he wasn't home by 10, his mom would shoot him. Joel willingly scootched out of the booth as soon as he heard the phrase "Sorry guys, but we..." and was almost at the cash. Sonny sighed as he edged out of the booth as well and began to walk toward his boyfriend after saying his goodbyes to his new friends. Rudy quickly jumped out of the booth and put a hand on Sonny's shoulder. Sonny's cheeks began to burn when he heard the chorus of giggles and "Ooooh"'s from Rudy's friends. Sonny got confused as he looked into Rudy's eyes. Rudy shot them a look and then looked back at Sonny with a chuckle.

"Thank you so much for coming tonight, I hope you had fun," He smiled, "Because I know your little friend didn't," He threw his head back at Joel who was paying for the meal at the cash.

"Yeah I did! And I'm really sorry about him, I'll have a little talk with him about that as soon as we get out of here," Sonny glared at Joel who popped a free mint into his mouth.

Rudy looked over at Joel and then sighed, he turned back at Sonny and gave him a little smile. He wrapped his arms around him and gave Sonny a squeeze. Sonny was beginning to get used to hugging this stranger, so he willingly hugged him back. When they parted, Rudy pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek. Sonny pulled away from him quickly and stared at him wide-eyed. Rudy choked a laugh and then looked at his shoes, he rubbed the back of his neck as his face turned red. Sonny tried to say something, but the words got caught in his throat.

"Sorry about that, I get a little too friendly around people I like," Rudy looked up through his lashes at Sonny. Big blue eyes.

"I-it's fine," Sonny squeaked and then cleared his throat, "I'll... see you at school tomorrow,"

Rudy smiled with his teeth, "You bet,"

Those eyes. That smile. That kiss... It finally made sense to him now... _Shit._ Sonny knew it. Rudy was gay.

When Joel began rambling about how annoying everyone was being, Sonny couldn't pay attention. He was staring out the dashboard into the dark night as he thought about Rudy. His heart raced when he thought about Rudy smiling. His gestures. Everything made sense now. Why he was so huggy and talky and everything led to the fact that Rudy liked Sonny. He should've seen this one coming! Even in elementary school Rudy seemed to be very clingy to Sonny. He just thought it was what friends do, but Rudy was still acting like he was lovestruck. But why would he be in love with _Sonny_? There were tons of cute boys at the high school they went to, though Sonny would never admit it to anyone. Why would such an attractive, built, kind and outgoing guy want _him?_ But then again, Joel, who in Sonny's eyes was the perfect man in the history of men, was so in love with him._  
_

And that kiss. And the _oooh's _and _awww's _from his friends... have they known about Rudy having a crush of him? Sonny shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts.

"So I _shouldn't _have had that extra order of mash? But it was so good," Joel mumbled.

That's impossible. Rudy just said he did that to people he_ likes_... exactly, so maybe he didn't have a crush of Sonny. He probably kisses all of his friend's cheeks. They do that in Italy, don't they?

"Earth to Sonny Moore, you're home babe," Joel interrupted Sonny's thoughts.

Sonny looked at his boyfriend, almost terrified and then out the car door window. There it was. Home sweet home. Sonny felt sick to his stomach. Either he ate too much, or because of the encounter with Rudy. Either way, he needed to lay down. He quickly opened the door to leave.

"Uh, don't I get a kiss goodnight? What is this?" Joel opened his arms and rolled his eyes.

Sonny paused. That was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He just needed to lay down and rest his aching head. He sighed and then turned to look at his boyfriend under the faint glow of the truck light. He leaned back into the car and kissed the corner of Joel's mouth weakly. Joel snorted and grabbed Sonny, tugging him back into the truck and kissing every inch of his face he could get. Sonny swatted him away and pushed himself out of the truck. Joel opened his mouth, slightly started at Sonny's reaction.

"What has gotten into you? Besides my dick?" Joel asked angrily.

"N-nothing," Sonny sighed, "I'm sorry, I'll text you later, okay?" Sonny said, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck as the wind picked up.

"Let me walk you upstairs, you don't look too good. Hop back in, I'll park," Joel motioned his hand for Sonny to come and then put the truck in reverse.

Sonny shook his head, "I'm fine, don't worry," He took a step back, "I love you. I'll text you later," He said and closed the door, turning around and running toward the front of the apartment building.

"I love you too..." Joel mumbled and put the truck in forward. He breathed into his hand and then took a whiff. He shrugged and drove off.

That was strange. Sonny usually loved it when Joel kissed him like that. Joel was having a hard time trying to figure out what was wrong, but his stomach ached. He hasn't eaten that much for years. He groaned and rubbed his stomach mindlessly. He stopped at a red light and then looked up at the hanging picture of Sonny and him on Christmas last year. He smiled and then stopped. Could it be true that Sonny is falling out of love with him? Joel closed his eyes and then reopened them full of tears as the light turned green. He drove off.

"You okay Joel?" Sofi asked, walking down the stairs with caution, "You came in and looked really sad and stuff,"

"I'm fine," Joel quickly rubbed the tears from his eyes.

Sofi sighed and sat down on the last couple of steps, "You're crying. Something's obviously wrong. Did you and Sonny have a fight?"

"He didn't text me..." Joel whispered and looked down at his phone for the hundredth time, "He said he would text me and tell me what's wrong, but he didn't,"

Sofi sighed and pushed herself off the steps. She walked into Joel's rented apartment and sat down next to him on the couch. She put a loving arm around him and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Maybe you should text him? Maybe he forgot? What if he's sleeping, you don't know that,"

"He didn't even kiss me goodnight," Joel closed his eyes and sniffled, "He basically kissed my cheek... well he kissed me right here," Joel pointed to the corner of his lip and then sobbed, "And then when I tried to kiss him back, he shoved me away... I don't think he loves me anymore," Joel covered his face with his hands and began to sob even harder.

"Ugh, you're worse then my girlfriends," Sofi huffed and patted Joel's back, "When they have boy troubles, they always seem to sniff me out and lay 'em down on me, expecting me to be this magical guru who sends love and kisses and gets their relationship back on track,"

"Sorry," Joel sniffed.

"No, no, it's alright," Sofi chuckled, "My hypothesis is that Sonny has something on his mind. Maybe about his mom? I wouldn't really know. Does Sonny seem distracted?"

Joel nodded slowly, "He was staring out the window for the whole ride back like we just hit a deer or something,"

Sofi nodded and hummed to herself for a minute. She smiled, "I say just give him a day and then call him if he doesn't text you back. I think he just needs to sort things out a bit. He'll come around to loving you again." She laughed and pressed a kiss to Joel's hair and got up from the couch, "You're doing alright, Joel,"

Joel sighed, "But what if I'm not good enough for him?" He asked, staring at the carpet.

"Oh, trust me, if you're being the best boyfriend you can be, you shouldn't have any worries," She started to walk up the stairs, but then paused and looked at Joel, "Just... stop beating yourself up over what Sonny wants all the time. I think you should be able to make your own decisions too, right?"

Joel looked at Sofi and nodded. She smiled again and then left without another word.

* * *

Sonny spent about an hour in the bathroom after his hour-long shower. He sat there with a towel wrapped around himself, staring off into space as he thought about his evening. He begged himself not to do just that, but it baffled him so much that he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He gave up and walked into his room, crawled into bed without any sort of clothing on and tried to sleep. His damp, melon-scented shampoo that Joel loved so much was driving him completely mental, but he later discovered his tiredness being overwhelming and quickly fell asleep, dreaming of his boyfriend whom he loved so much. Was it bad to think how it would have felt if Rudy kissed him friendlily on the _lips_? Of course it was! But Sonny couldn't help but imagine.

Sonny awoke the next morning feeling actually surprisingly better. He stretched his arms out and then rolled out of bed. He got a shot of cold air and then yelped when he realized he was stark naked.

"I know you're awake," His mother called from the other room, hearing the gasp, "And I am not going to work until you finish all of your breakfast. You're starting to turn into a skeleton like your boyfriend,"

Sonny threw on his uniform and then trotted into the kitchen with a grin on his face. He sat down and shovelled his corn flakes in, one wafting bite at a time. His mother raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed with the boy's appetite that morning.

"I'm going to get really pissed, pardon my language, if I find out you're skipping dinner," She folded her arms and watched her son chug down his orange juice.

"No actually," He choked a little and then continued, "Last night me and Joel went to a restaurant with my new friends, I had steak," He smiled.

"I thought you didn't like steak?" His mother crossed her arms.

"Well... not the way you cook it, no offence," He leaped out of his chair and kissed his mother's flabbergasted cheek, "I'm going to brush my teeth and wait for Joel outside, okay? I'll text you when he comes,"

She sighed and picked up her work books, "Okay. Love you. Don't talk to strangers," She said and then left.

Sonny sat outside in the cold for about 10 minutes, awaiting his boyfriend to rescue him. Maybe he forgot? Sonny took out his phone and checked his messages. Nothing new. He sighed and pulled the scarf up to his nose. He pushed himself off the curb and looked both ways before crossing the street. The snow wasn't really white anymore, it sort of took on a greyish shade. It was thick but it was hard and slushy. Sonny dodged the slush puddles and began his walk to school. He didn't bother to put on mittens or a hat because he thought he would be surrounded by the warm peppermint scent of Joel's truck. He guessed wrong.

What has gotten Joel off? Was it because Sonny was acting so strange? He quickly began to text Joel until he heard tires crunching along the packing snow. Sonny looked up and saw a slim, silver Honda Accord Convertible. His heart skipped a beat when the window rolled down and Rudy smiled at him with pearly whites.

"Need a lift? You look cold,"

Sonny stared at Rudy for a long moment and then looked back down at his phone. He angrily shoved it into his pocket and walked around to the other side of the car. He got into the car, took off his scarf, and sighed. Rudy raised an eyebrow at him and started to drive toward the school.

"What's up?" Rudy asked.

Sonny shook his head, "Nothing."

"Oh come on, Sonny, we're like best friends, you know you can tell me anything," Rudy glanced over at Sonny and smiled, "I worry about you a lot, you know?"

"You do?" Sonny suspiciously looked over at Rudy.

He was going to do it. He was going to look Rudy right in the eyes and tell him that he was happily in a committed relationship with Joel Thomas Zimmerman. But when Sonny opened his mouth to say it, Rudy cut him off.

"Plus I think you're kind of cute," He winked at Sonny.

Sonny froze. His body felt colder then the temperature outside. Colder then ice. Sonny closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm in a relationship," He admitted quietly.

"I know," Rudy said, quietly as well.

Sonny looked at Rudy's face. He didn't look pissed, but more like... deeply disappointed. Sonny thought that to be really strange.

"With Joel," Sonny added.

Rudy looked over at him with blue eyes and gave a tiny smile, "It was sort of obvious,"

"I-it was... what?" Sonny's jaw dropped, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, only couples argue like that," He chuckled and parked into the school lot, "It's okay though, just know that I'm always a phone call away," Rudy smiled and shut off the engine, staring at Sonny.

Sonny gave a tiny smile and nodded. He slowly exited Rudy's vehicle. He couldn't help but feel dizzy.

* * *

**AN: I bet some of you know where this is leading, but I will leave it up to you to guess what will happen next! (-; And**** I know most of you are probably pissed because I haven't written in a while, but I am truly, entirely and, gratefully sorry for the abcense! I've been working on another story and travelling quite a lot this Summer, so I apologize for my lack of intelligence during this chapter in particular. I hope you can all forgive me!**

**Reviews are lovely as always! xox**


	5. Chapter 5 Right This Second

Sonny walked through school and paused at the door of Home Ec. No, he didn't take this class, but he knew one of Rudy's friends did and he needed to desperately talk to someone. He couldn't talk to Joel about anything because he knew what would happen if he found out Rudy kissed him, even if it was on the cheek.

Sonny heard the bell sound and the door opened. A stampede of over-excited teens ran past him. Sonny spotted Lilah. She looked sensible enough to speak to. He tapped her shoulder and when she saw him, she grabbed him into a big hug. Sonny almost couldn't breathe.

Lilah was on the male basketball team. They needed one more player and because of her height, strength, and skill, they knew she was the best they were going to get anyway. She was sort of intimidating, but she also had the friendly and quiet aspects of a listener, as proved the night before at dinner. Sonny cleared his throat when they disconnected the hug and she looked at him with big brown eyes, grinning.

"What can I do you for?" She asked.

Sonny was starting to think this was a bad idea.

"Did you know that..." He started and then looked at his shoes, "Nevermind."

"Sonny," Lilah said, holding his shoulders and giving him a little shake, "You can tell me anything. We're friends now! The least you can do is trust me! Now, what's on your mind?"

He looked up into reassuring eyes, "I think that... Rudy might like me,"

"Of course he likes you, Sonny! We all like you! You're a cool dude," She smiled and raised an eyebrow, realizing what Sonny might have meant.

"No, I mean _like_-likes me... like... _like_... like a crush or something," Sonny scratched the back of his neck.

Lilah closed her eyes and smiled again, her dark skin happily gleaming. She chuckled and then scratched her head.

"That's all? You worried me half to death, boy!" She just laughed.

Sonny glared at her, his mouth agape as she tormented him. His cheeks burned with a fury. He hated being laughed at.

"I'm serious! He kissed me last night!" Sonny exclaimed.

Lilah slowly stopped laughing and her expression turned distraught.

"Seriously? Damn it, I told him not to do that!" She sighed and shook her head, "I apologize on his behalf, Rudy can't control himself sometimes,"

"What do you mean?" Sonny asked with a raised eyebrow, deeply curious as to what was going on.

Lilah looked down the empty halls and then sighed, looking closely at Sonny, "Rudy really likes you Sonny," She nodded. Sonny swallowed hard before she pulled back to look at her shoes, "He sometimes wont shut up about you to the point where we get sort of pissed off, and that's why he invited you to dinner with us, just so he could prove you weren't such a bad guy, which you're not," She smiled.

Sonny closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. He needed to tell Joel.

"He's apparently had a thing for you since elementary school in LA," She shrugged and looked down at her watch, "I got to get to class now, I'll chat with you later, Sonny," She patted his shoulder firmly and jogged off.

Sonny stood there staring at the ground wide-eyed. So Rudy did like him for that long... why hasn't it occurred to him yet?

_Did Rudy move here for me?_

Sonny was so lost and confused. He checked his phone again to see if he got any messages. None. He felt deeply forbidden by his boyfriend.

_Why didn't Joel text me? Did he find out about that kiss? Shit, would he believe me if I told him Rudy was the one who... wait no, who am I kidding?_

Sonny heard the late bell ring and then checked the time, he bit his lip and just walked out of the school and onto the side walk. It was no use trying to concentrate in class with all this bullshit running through his mind like a pack of wildebeest. He needed to talk to Joel. He quickly sent Joel a message and lit a cigarette. Taking a drag he patiently waited for a reply. What could Joel possibly be doing?

* * *

Joel cried. He clung onto Sofi and just cried and cried and sobbed and beat the pillow up. He hasn't come out of bed yet. He was sitting in bed for hours, calling Sofi with his loud yells until she came down to the rescue with ice cream and tissue boxes. Joel knew he was overreacting but he couldn't help but feel sorry for himself.

"So tell me again why you're crying?" Sofi asked after a good half an hour listening to Joel mindlessly ramble his feelings into a pillow.

He sniffed, "I didn't text him,"

She gaped at him, "Last night you were complaining that he didn't text you, and now you're... ugh! You're pathetic! Text him already!"

"No!" Joel yelled and pushed Sofi away, "This is payback! This is what he gets when he doesn't text me!"

"Joel you're honestly being stupid, look," She grabbed his iPhone off of the floor where he threw it last and turned on the screen, "You got 3 new messages,"

Joel looked quickly up at Sofi and his phone and then sobbed, making grabby hands toward it. Sofi rolled her eyes and walked the phone gently to Joel, handing it to him and watching his face lighten up immediately. It was like watching a kid get a puppy for Christmas. Sofi watched as Joel sighed with relief after reading the message, his thumbs quickly darted back and forth on the screen and then he dropped the phone in his lap and smiled.

"So? What did he say?" Sofi asked, slowly sitting back on the couch next to Joel's feet.

"Hmm?" He looked at Sofi a little dazed, "He just said he wants to talk," He shrugged.

"Probably because you didn't text him?" She raised an eyebrow, "You're such a chick." She got off the couch and began to walk toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Joel asked with a pout.

"Umm, I work, unlike you. I'm going to go get paid," She smiled.

Joel rolled his eyes, "Have fun at your fast food joint,"

"Hey, at least I'm not sitting around for my boyfriend to text me all day," She snorted and left, shutting the door behind her.

Joel stuck his tongue out at the closed door and snuggled under the blankets, staring at his phone until another message alert popped up. He instantly opened it.

_"Can u pick me up? I didn't want 2 go 2 class so im outside" _Sonny texted.

Joel peered at the time. It's only been 72 minutes since Sonny got there. Joel rolled out of bed and stretched his arms and legs. He texted back a quick OK and then pulled on some track pants and his tiny Autumn jacket. He jogged in place for a few minutes and then exited his bedroom. As he drove off, he went a little too fast on the slushy roads, but that didn't stop him from getting to his boyfriend who was waiting outside for him now.

He smiled when he saw the tiny boy push his cigarette into the snow and then get up from the curb and dust the snow off from his pants. As he walked around the car to get to the passenger's seat, Joel couldn't help but laugh at Sonny's wet pants.

When Sonny entered the car and shut the door, Joel immediately cupped one of the smaller boy's cheeks and pressed his lips against Sonny's. It lingered a while but Sonny didn't flinch the tiniest bit. When they departed, Joel watched as his boyfriend took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Sonny was relieved that he got to feel the soft of Joel's lips again. He missed it desperately and the comfort wafted over him like when he escaped the cold Winter air by getting into the car.

Joel found it a little strange that Sonny didn't move from his relaxed position, but he just smiled because he finally got to taste his lips again. He revved the engine and then put it into drive down the street and back toward Sonny's apartment. Sonny opened his eyes and then looked at Joel as he felt the familiar turns that led right to his home. He stammered a bit.

"J-Joel where are we going?" He asked, hoping Joel was making a mistake.

"To your house, why?" Joel asked with a chuckle.

"Oh..." Sonny bit his lip, "You know, I still never got to see your apartment..."

Joel glanced over at Sonny and pressed his lips together, "I know," He said quietly.

"Is there a problem with me seeing where you live? I think we're at a mature relationship to at least know that," Sonny responded a little coldly, but he was just really hoping to spend some time with his boyfriend alone.

"No, there's no problem," Joel smiled as they stopped to turn into the parking area, "Why?"

"Well," Sonny sighed, "My mom's still home, she doesn't work until later. She has a new shift..." Sonny sideways glanced at Joel hopefully.

Joel parked the car into the parking lot and then leaned back and sighed. Sonny always wondered why Joel never brought him over. Was his place always a mess? It wasn't like Sonny ever cleaned his room so why would it matter so much to Joel? Maybe it was because of Sofi and her family... are they rude? Would they judge Sonny? Maybe going there wouldn't be such a great idea.

"Ah, I see," Joel nodded a couple times and then frowned, "I guess I just never felt comfortable with people looking through my shit, you know? My dad would always go into my room and look around as soon as he had the notion of me being gay... It's not like you wouldn't touch my shit or that I'm hiding anything or whatever, but just the whole someone being in my personal space kind of..."

Sonny nodded to himself, understanding Joel's situation. Joel decided not to tell Sonny about Sofi always coming into his apartment unattended. He didn't know why he let Sofi do it, but after a while he just gave up arguing and she now has her own set of keys.

"Will I ever see it?" Sonny asked, looking at Joel with hopeful eyes.

Joel smiled and couldn't resist the cute, child-like features that played on Sonny's face. Joel unbuckled his seatbelt and stretched his long body over to where his boyfriend sat. He looked into deep pools of brown and could see the little freckles of amber dancing around in his irises.

"Of course," He breathed over Sonny's lips and watched as long eyelashes fluttered and tickled Joel's cheekbone ever so slightly.

A gentle kiss was pressed into the boy's lips, followed by another, and then another. A click echoed throughout the car as Sonny gained more freedom and reached his arms out to grasp onto his boyfriend. Joel licked at Sonny's top lip and then smiled lovingly at him as the brick rose colour flooded Sonny's cheekbones and across the bridge of his nose. Joel reached to the left of Sonny and pulled the lever on the seat. The seat collapsed backwards a little too fast and it knocked the air right out of Sonny's lungs with a gasp. Joel kissed at Sonny's jawline as he tugged the zipper open on Sonny's jacket. Sonny fumbled to removed his arms from the sleeves and Joel helped. He tossed Sonny's jacket in the back and then straddled his waist and smiled down at him again.

"You're so nervous," Joel chuckled darkly.

"I-I've never done it in a c-car before..." Sonny whispered hesitantly and then sat up quickly to check if the parking lot was clear.

Joel pushed Sonny's shoulder back down and shook his head. He bent down to kiss Sonny's lips softly again.

"Nobody can save you now," Joel whispered against his lips as he locked the doors, "Are you scared someone will see us?"

Sonny closed his eyes and imagined very briefly what it would be like to get caught having dirty car sex in a public apartment parking lot... He forced himself not to grin at the thought and decided to play it scared.

"Uh-huh," Sonny practically moaned, "I don't want them to see my little white ass," He whispered back.

"Shut up," Joel breathed heavily with a chuckle as he ran his fingers down Sonny's slender body, "You're a bad boy,"

"What are you gonna do about it?" Sonny looked at Joel through thick lashes, "Joel Zimmerman,"

Joel shuddered and then bit his lip. He removed his t-shirt slowly and then moved to Sonny's. As soon as the shirts were off, Sonny's pale skin almost crystallized. That was the first time Joel saw how nervous and pale Sonny looked. He was hesitant when he saw the deep breath of Sonny stretch his ribs across his skin. He looked into his boyfriends eyes.

"Are you cold?" Joel asked, rubbing his hands up and down Sonny's arms quickly, trying to create friction, "It'll get so hot once I'm through with you, don't worry,"

"Mmmm," Sonny hummed and closed his eyes, clamping his jaw shut so it would stop chattering.

Joel took immediate action and arched over Sonny, looking into his eyes as he slowly pushed his groin against the smaller boy jeans. Sonny let out a tiny gasp and then bit his lip as he reached for Joel's waist. Joel shuttered at the freezing cold touch but pushed past it as his nipples grew hard.

Joel continued to take off his clothing. He removed his pants swiftly and then quickly checked outside the truck window to see if anyone was there. Nobody. Joel bent down and kissed Sonny's almost blue lips. He needed to hurry up if he didn't want his boyfriend to die on him. He decided to turn the key of the car slightly and then turned the heat up a tad bit. Sonny got more comfortable as Joel worked his teeth around hard nipples. Sonny moaned thoroughly as a warm, wet tongue caressed his flesh. He ran fingers up and down Joel's body.

Once all articles of clothing was abandoned from Joel's body, Sonny slipped out from under him and quickly turned Joel around. He pinned his shoulders hard against the car seat which made the truck stutter a bit. Sonny kissed down Joel's neck. It was weird to Joel because he's never felt so vulnerable in his sex life as he did now. Sonny was taking advantage of him... he wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

Sonny was busy working his kisses downward until Joel's hands pulled Sonny's face back up. They met eye-to-eye and Joel reached down to where he knew he could find the boy's pants. They were still soaking wet from sitting on the snow and they were starting to bother Joel a bit. He popped out the button and slowly unzipped Sonny's fly without taking his own eyes off of his for a second. Sonny's breathing was heavy as Joel pulled the elastic waistband down from around Sonny's waist. It slipped off with ease. Joel finally looked down. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the sensual kisses of Sonny's soft lips. Joel closed his eyes and enjoyed the kisses.

When he didn't feel the lips on his anymore, he looked down at where Sonny's hands were. They stroked down Joel's long, slender body and then up his own. Sonny reached up to the elastic of his boxers and slipped a hand under it. He shuttered and then closed his eyes. Joel looked up at Sonny's face and could tell he was touching himself. Joel bit his lip and just watched.

Sonny stroked himself and then opened his eyes a bit to see an eager Joel hungrily eyeing every inch of Sonny's body. Sonny let out a soft moan and Joel quickly looked up at his face. Sonny looked back down at Joel and licked his lips. But Joel didn't move. Joel just stared at him. Sonny's stomach turned. He expected Joel to grab him and pull him closer to his body already. Sonny was a little nervous, but he reached out and rubbed his fingers slowly across Joel's white, clenched knuckles. Joel looked down at their hands and then back up at Sonny. He slowly moved his hand toward Sonny and Sonny mentally smiled to himself.

"Do you want to top this time?" Joel asked with a wink.

Sonny gaped at Joel in surprise. He never thought about topping before... he always looked at himself as a minor bottom. He wasn't sure if he was ready or not. He looked around for an excuse but Joel broke the ice and chuckled.

"It's okay if you don't want to," He smiled and then slipped a hand into Sonny's boxers. He stroked him once upwards and watched Sonny's face melt. "But at least let me do something about this..." He whispered in a raspy, threatening tone that always made Sonny's knees wobble.

Sonny closed his eyes and leaned his head against his boyfriend's chest. He listened to the rough breathing as Joel's hand worked up and down. Sonny hummed softly as the sensual feeling overwhelmed him. Joel's hand was now warm and that was when he took his hand out. He stroked his fingers across Sonny's cheek and then pulled him into another kiss.

Sonny was the pushed back and Joel sat up, supporting Sonny's back against the dashboard. Sonny was confused but grabbed onto the dashboard when Joel let his waist go. Joel's fingers pulled Sonny's boxers past his hips now and they immediately fell to his bent knees. Sonny blushed as he watch Joel stare. With the same hungrily stare he used earlier. Sonny looked away as it started to become awkward, but before he could make even the slightest movement, a moistness pushed its way down his shaft. Sonny gasped and closed his eyes when he felt his boyfriend's soft lips spread across his length. He tried not to moan but couldn't help it. He took a sharp breath in as a hand cupped Sonny's balls.

Suddenly Joel stopped and Sonny looked down at his boyfriend in worry. He narrowed his eyes and looked away, listening. Sonny heard it too. It was the familiar honk of...

"Shit, my mom's back," Sonny whispered and climbed into the back to grab his clothing.

Joel looked out the window and saw her making her way close by to the truck. He quickly got his shirt and bottoms on and hid in the back with Sonny. Sonny fought a nervous giggle when they were forced to straddle each other on the floor of the truck to remain hidden. The muffled click of heels on concrete came to a slow when she was near. Joel covered Sonny's mouth and glared at him to shut up, which he immediately did. They listened intently and then heard key jumbling. The clicking continued on.

When they heard the garage door to the ground level open and then slam shut, Joel let go of Sonny's lips and sighed with relief.

"That was so close," He whispered, his head spinning.

"Now can we go to your apartment?" Sonny asked in a whine, pouting.

Joel examined Sonny's face and then sighed.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys... SUPER sorry that this story hasn't really been making much progress lately, but I will try to make that up to you! I needed a little break from writing to gather some ideas and what-nots. Plus with school only a month in, everything was getting a little hectic. But this story WILL be completed and I hope you reviewers are not yet giving up on this bad boy! More story will come! **


	6. Chapter 6 Voltage

**AN: Another chapter! Enjoy (:**

* * *

"You know, you should invite him over some time," Sofi said softly as she folded shirt after shirt of Joel's and stuffed them neatly in the drawers, "He's probably dying just to know how you live," She winked at him.

Joel moaned and pulled the sheets over his head. He had to listen to her suggest things he should do for his boyfriend for almost thirty five minutes now and he was already feeling so annoyed. He almost felt nauseous. He felt sorry for her mother.

"If he ever comes over, me and my mom will cook you guys dinner. You can take the credit because Sonny seems like the type of gay guy who would be impressed if his partner made dinner for once. It seems to me like he would be the one doing most of the cooking if you guys end up living together. Oh my God, if you ever have a child together, do _not _think about naming him that name you told me you liked so much... what was it? Tony?"

"Mmmmm," Joel groaned and pulled the sides of the pillows to his ears.

"Yeah, don't do it." Sofi smiled when she placed the last shirt in the drawer.

She looked over at the lump in the bed called Joel and sighed. She couldn't understand why Joel was being so glum whenever she wanted to help him and Sonny's relationship. She kept wanting to blame their mishaps on herself for some reason. She couldn't help it. She's been through so many terrible relationships that she couldn't even count them all anymore. She wanted the best for her new friend and his little play thing.

Sofi didn't really get the fun vibe from Sonny the first time they met at his birthday party a while back. Even his party last year, he never once talked to her. She thought she was going insane but it was almost like Sonny didn't even realize what she's done for his lover. She saw him as the bad guy usually, always putting Joel through crisis that she had to try to fix. It wasn't like she was jealous or anything, that would be... crazy.

She wanted a shoulder to cry on when she was having a bad day. She wanted to be help and to be told that she was better then anyone else. She looked at Joel again and then a sadness washed over her. Why does Sonny get to have such a caring boyfriend and she doesn't? Why does Sonny have a boyfriend who loves him and spends time with him and does anything for him for two whole fucking years and she doesn't? Why does Sonny deserve someone like Joel, and she doesn't? She thought about her boyfriend and then paused when her heart sank. She forgot that he broke up with her almost a week ago... it was proof that she never got to love someone that she could never forget.

She bit her lip and then walked over swiftly and sat on the side of Joel's bed. Joel felt the tiny movement and took the blankets off his head. He looked at Sofi, she seemed a little upset for some reason. He didn't want to hear another word from her but he knew it wouldn't be a nice thing to just ignore the fact that he knew she was hiding something. He sat up and cleared his throat. She turned her head and gave him a half smile.

"You okay?" He asked softly.

She smiled and nodded, "Yeah, definitely," She lied. Joel knew.

He got out from under the sheets and crawled over to sit next to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Joel was startled when he saw it. She then broke down in tears and wrapped her arms around Joel tightly.

"What's wrong? What's wrong, Sofi?" He asked, not really sure how to handle girl problems.

"M-m-my b-b-b-b-b-," She couldn't stop crying because the feeling of Joel touching her was overwhelming. She could feel he cared.

"Shhh, come on," Joel stroked her hair and wondered if he was even making a difference, "It's okay, you can talk to me,"

"My boyfriend... he-he-he," She sobbed, "He-"

"Broke up with you?" He asked. He made a mistake.

She started screaming and buried her face deep into Joel's bare chest, hugging him tightly. She never wanted to let go. He looked around for a distraction but couldn't help but look down at the face of Sofi. She was so upset and loud. He's never had to deal with this before.

"It's okay, he's obviously not aware of what he let go," He tried. It seemed to work.

Sofi looked up at him with smeared makeup, completely revived. She stared at him. That was exactly what she wanted to hear, "You think so?" She sniffed. She actually looked beautiful. Joel swallowed hard.

"Well, duh," He rolled his eyes, "Look, why do you think he broke up with you? You're not ugly, and you're not stupid, and plus you're the funniest and cleverest chick I've ever met,"

She raised her eyebrows and rubbed at one of her eyes. She tried to smile, but knew that if she did it would break the moment, "Th-that's so nice of you to s-s-say," She sniffed again, "But that's not the reason why..."

Joel obviously knew that, "Did he say why?" She nodded, "Did you want to tell me?"

She hesitated and sat up straight and looked down at her hands. Sofi wanted to tell Joel... she wanted to spill out everything she's been keeping for a long time, but couldn't find the guts to do it. She just shook her head. Joel felt weird suddenly and pressed his lips together, thinking of a way to get her to talk. He figured girls liked to talk over snacks or something, or at least that's what he's seen in movies.

"Want something to eat? Maybe you can tell me then?" He asked.

She looked at him and then paused. She looked down at his hands and back up at his face. He raised an eyebrow. Suddenly he felt warm fingers slide between his and his brain froze. She shook her head and then smiled. She then got up from the bed, let go of his hand and leaned over to press a kiss into his cheek. She blushed and wanted to smack herself, but held back her feelings.

"I'll see you later," She whispered and looked into his eyes.

Joel was almost cross-eyed when he looked back into her eyes, that's how close she was. He could almost taste the cherry from her lipgloss until she pulled away and walked out the door. He just stared after her and then touched his cheek. He looked at his fingers and saw a faint tint of red on his tips. He slowly brought them up to his lips and then stopped. He closed his eyes and dropped his hand into his lap. He fell backwards onto his bed and pulled his pillow over his face.

Sofi closed the basement door and then pressed her back against it. She pressed her lips together and felt a tingly feeling inside. She smiled.

* * *

Sonny could see Rudy walk toward him just then. He stuffed his notes into his locker and tried to stop his heart from beating so loudly. Rudy was the last person he wanted to see right now.

"Hey stranger, how come you didn't text me back?" Rudy asked from behind him.

Sonny closed his eyes and took in a slow breath. He didn't turn around and instead pretended to look for something.

"I'm sorry, I was getting my phone fixed. Cracked screen." He lied.

Rudy then appeared next to him as he closed Sonny's locker door. Sonny looked at Rudy as he leaned against the locker and smiled.

"Understandable," He looked sinister to Sonny, "I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight,"

"I have a boyfriend," Sonny sighed and locked his locker, grabbing his backpack from off the ground and swung it over his shoulder.

He began to walk away until Rudy caught up to him and stepped in front of him. Sonny stopped, startled and sighed.

"Just as friends," Rudy stuck his hands up in surrender and frowned, "I know I've been really pushy lately and I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for kissing you and for making you have second thoughts about your boyfriend-" Sonny wanted to argue about that point, but Rudy continued, "-But I just wanted to get to know you better and I still haven't. So please let me give you my sincere apology by treating you to this new movie that I killed myself over getting the tickets to." He almost pleaded.

Sonny watched Rudy's saddened and apologetic face flash across his features. He sighed and rubbed his eye.

"Fine," Sonny said.

Rudy smiled largely, "Yeah? Promise?"

Sonny looked Rudy up and down and then sighed again and nodded, "Yeah, promise,"

Rudy jumped a little and squealed with happiness, "Awesome! Meet me at the theatre at eight, okay?"

Sonny nodded and then gave a little smile. Rudy smiled again and quickly hugged Sonny, then ran off. Sonny closed his eyes and shook his head. He decided to ignored his stupid mistake and went to his first period class.

The class was almost empty as Sonny took his seat. He looked around and saw that there was no teacher present. He looked over at the windows where a few kids were talking. They all looked at Sonny and then snickered, looking away from him and continued to laugh. Sonny raised an eyebrow and ignored them. He took out his phone and checked it. No messages. He knew this was going to be a long day.

Throughout his whole class, the same small group of boys were looking at him and whispering to each other. Sonny wasn't sure what was going on, if they were whispering about his hair or glasses or whatever but he tried hard to ignore it. The teacher had to stop talking at least three times to tell the boys to shut up. Sonny was then tapped on his shoulder. He was passed a note. He looked at the girl who sat behind him. She shrugged and wiggled the note again. Sonny took it with ease and then looked up at the teacher who was drawing out equations on the white board.

He opened it and then covered his mouth as he saw the picture and read the caption. He looked over as he heard more laughing. He grew angry and crumbled up the paper. The teacher whipped around and looked over at the boys and then back at Sonny.

"Sonny, please get out," She pointed to the door.

Sonny opened his mouth to say something but the boys started to laugh uncontrollably.

"You too! Get the hell out of this class if you're going to disrupt it!" The teacher yelled.

"Miss, what did I even do?" Sonny objected.

"You're being a distraction to the students who want to learn, Mr. Moore. Stop making faces or whatever you're doing to make your friends laugh and go be stupid in the hallways," She pointed to the door again.

Sonny wanted to object again but the teacher raised her eyebrows threateningly.

"I'll get Mister Orlando down here," She said.

Sonny angrily got out of his seat and stormed out of the classroom. He kept walking and then stopped when he felt something hit the back of his head. He turned around to see the boys leave the classroom, laughing at Sonny as they walked in the other direction. Sonny watched them disappear out the doors and then looked down at the paper. He picked it up and unfolded it. It was the same one he saw minutes ago. Stick-figured Sonny leaned over what looked like a table and then stick-figure Rudy behind him lunging his stick-figure dick into Sonny's stick-figure behind. The caption read _'how gay can you get?'_

Sonny ripped it to shreds angrily and then threw them to the ground. He walked quickly down the hallway and then felt sick to his stomach so he made a detour into the bathrooms. He ran into one of the stalls and locked it. He threw up. Once he was done, he sank to the ground and began to cry. This wasn't happening...

* * *

Joel looked at the time and lit the last candle. He stepped back to look at his and Sofi's masterpiece. He looked at Sofi and she nodded approvingly.

"Looks great! And if he doesn't come then I'll help clean up," She laughed and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks so much again, Sofi," He sighed, "You and your mom are amazing at this kind of stuff."

"Not a problem," She smiled, "Thanks for this morning, I needed that,"

Joel smiled and received another hug. He got a whiff of her lipgloss again. He examined her face when she pulled away then, and then down at her lips. He pressed his lips together and rubbed his neck.

"S-sorry," He chuckled.

She chuckled and bit her lip. She was then gone out the door again.

Joel turned around to look at the dinner and smiled when he thought of what Sonny would think. He sent him a quick text and then sat on the couch awaited a response. He sipped some red wine and cringed. What the fuck was he drinking? He got back up and walked over to the fridge and traded his red wine for a can of Coke. He dumped the wine down the sink and then poured some Coke into his tall glass. He sat back onto the couch and sipped it. Much better.

He looked at the dinner and then back at the time. He checked his phone again. No response.

* * *

Sonny walked alongside Rudy as they entered the theatre. The place was packed and there was a huge line up waiting for the horror film that they were supposed to see. Sonny sighed. He was super impatient when it came to waiting. He stopped at the end of the line and then realized Rudy kept walking. He raised an eyebrow.

"The line ends here," He called after him.

Rudy was at the front of the line and flashed his ticket to the guard. He nodded and opened the doors for him. Rudy looked back at Sonny and flashed a white grin. Sonny was impressed. He trotted over and flashed his ticket as well and he was granted immediate access to the theatre.

"How did you get these?" Sonny asked, looking down at his "magic" ticket.

"I have my ways," Rudy shrugged and smiled widely as he ran to the top of the stairs at the side of the theatre, "These are our seats."

"I don't really like sitting at the back..." Sonny tried to explain as he watched Rudy gleefully hop the seats and take the ones smack dab in the middle of the theatre.

"Trust me, this film is scary as shit. The producers suggest the farther seats. Plus I like not having feet over my face," He winked.

Sonny nodded understandingly and awkwardly manoeuvred over to sit one seat over to Rudy. Rudy raised an eyebrow and patted the seat next to him. Sonny slowly moved to the seat next to his friend and just sat there, staring at the screen as the theatre went quiet. He looked down at his watch. There was still twenty minutes before the movie actually started. Sonny sideways glanced at Rudy and saw him staring back. He looked down at his feet and swung them.

"So...?" Sonny started, "How was your day?"

"Pretty good," Rudy shrugged and smiled, "What about yours?"

Sonny thought about the note and then his stomach sank. He felt sick but moved past it, "It was fine."

"That's alright,"

"Yup."

It was quiet again until Rudy started to rustle in his jacket. Sonny looked over and watched as Rudy peeled his winter jacket off and leaned his head back on the seat. He closed his eyes, still smiling. Sonny wanted to know what was running through his head at that moment. He was a little scared. So scared he couldn't even look at Rudy anymore.

"I'm sorry, Sonny," Rudy said then.

Sonny looked over and saw Rudy looking down at his own shoes in complete sadness.

"I know I've been very pushy and forward lately but there's something I need you to do for me,"

Sonny wanted to run before he could even think about what the favour was going to be, but he couldn't. He just waited patiently for Rudy to finish. Rudy looked at Sonny in the eyes and Sonny stopped thinking. Those gorgeous B_L_U_E eyes ripped apart Sonny's insides like a hot blade through butter. Sonny couldn't move and he couldn't recognize what was going on until Rudy came back into few.

Sonny's lips burned and felt a little moist. In surprise he touched his mouth and felt a new sticky substance on them. Chapstick. He stared at Rudy and watched him smile. Sonny tried to catch his breath and as he did, a searing pain relieved them almost as if he's been holding his lungs for ages. Did Rudy just kiss him? And for how long?

"Thank you, I needed that," Rudy whispered.

Sonny couldn't believe it. He quickly got to his aching feet and stammered backwards. Rudy got up as well and held Sonny steady.

"You're shaking," Rudy chuckled nervously. Sonny sobbed and pushed Rudy back. He gathered himself up and fled the theatre.

As he ran out into the cold winter air, he began to cry. He felt sick to his stomach for the second time that day and dry-heaved into the snow. He couldn't take it anymore. He whipped out his phone. He has to tell Joel.

As he unlocked his iPhone, a notice popped up. A message from Joel. He quickly read it.

_'Hey, wanna maybe hang out tonite? at my place maybe? I want to cook u dinnr n' stuff... if ur interested... like u don't have to, but yah... xox' -Joel_

Sonny cried and smiled. There was a God. He quickly typed in, "of course!" And put his phone away as he bolted home.

It was a long sprint to get to his own house from the theatre, about twenty-eight minutes, but he couldn't wait to get to his boyfriend and be warmed. He got into the apartment and shrugged off his jacket. His mother ran into the room and sighed with relief when she saw Sonny.

"I thought it was a robbery the way you ran in just now," She gasped and ran over to Sonny, "Honey, you're freezing! Did you walk home from the movies?"

Sonny nodded, out of breath but smiling, "I have... to get... re-dressed." He panted and sprinted to his room after removing his boots.

Sonny's mom stood there and watched her son disappear so quickly. She smiled after him. She was so relieved that her son was so happy now, she had Joel to thank of course.

But really, Sonny wasn't happy at all. Of course he was happy to have such an amazing boyfriend like Joel, but the drama that hid well behind his walls was all he could ever manage. He almost couldn't manage.

Sonny got dressed quickly into clean, dryer clothes and then ran back to grab his coat.

"Where are you going now?" His mother asked, a little concerned.

"To Jo-" He paused and then closed the door again, "I guess I'll wait here for him to come get me,"

"Joel?" She asked, "I don't think you've ever been to his place, huh?"

Sonny shook his head and walked to the living room. He sat down and patiently crossed one leg over the other. His mom looked at him and chuckled. She walked over and sat next to him on the couch.

* * *

**AN: Thank you guys so much for still having hope for this story! :) And did you all hear about the huge storm? Hurricane Sandy is scary. I hope you all are safe! **


	7. Chapter 7 Sofi Needs A Ladder

**AN: Welcome back, readers! Enjoy yet another chapter. Enjoy! (:**

* * *

Sonny was now engulfed by the warmth of Joel's big truck as they drove down the night streets of Toronto. Sonny didn't regret one bit leaving Rudy all alone. All he cared about was being in the presence of the man he loved. The only thing really bothering him was the fact that he had to tell Joel what was going on with Rudy.

When Sonny was waiting for Joel to come to the rescue back at home, his mother sat next to him and wanted to talk. Sonny was unaware of where the conversation was heading, but he screamed with glee when he heard about his mother's job promotion and how he was getting one thousand dollars to go toward his savings. She told him he could do whatever he wanted with it, whether it be going toward education, life, or just everyday necessities. Sonny couldn't believe it. It was so out of the blue.

The next thing his mother said surprised him even more though. He wasn't angry when she said this, but rather confused.

"Are you sure Joel's the one?" She said in almost a whisper.

Sonny stammered and thought about this for a second. If it were last year, he would've jumped to a straight "Yes, of course!" But because he's been going through a lot of hard decisions in these times, he's had assumptions.

Joel and Sonny did get into a few fights before, mainly about living conditions but never about relationship issues. Sonny trusted that Joel would tell him if he was interested in other guys. He would. But if Sonny was asked that, would he do the same? Would he actually tell Joel? Of course he's found other guys cute before, but he wasn't a flaming homosexual that checked out every guys ass that passed him by. He didn't wear tight clothing, talk about boys with his girlfriends or even promote any pride parades. He was just Sonny and he was just in love with a guy. Nothing else.

Sonny did think about marriage at one point and obsessed over finding a theme, a cake, and even wrote a list of whom he would invite. That was about the gayest thing he's ever done and it lasted him more then a few days. But the phase had gone over his head. It never crossed his mind again until his mother came up with that question.

The thinking process had dissolved when Joel's truck came to a stop. Sonny looked at his boyfriend and then at the house. It was a cute little bungalow that was painted a light beige. The frames and doors were painted white including the roof lining. Sonny couldn't help but smile. It was beautiful. He was happy Joel lived somewhere like this instead of out on the streets or in some dirty cheap apartment.

Joel turned off the truck and laid back in his seat. He took a deep breath and then looked at Sonny who he saw was smiling. He let out the air in relief and reached over to grab his boyfriend's cold hand. Sonny looked at him with the same smile.

"You ready to see my place?" Joel asked with a nervous squint, "It's probably not as nice as where the Toufa's live, but it's something," He shrugged.

Sonny nodded and they both left the auto-mobile.

A nervous kick busted in the back of Sonny's knees just as soon as Joel got out his keys. Joel caught Sonny in his arms and fumbled with him a bit before laughing.

"You're that nervous? I promise a wild bear isn't about to jump out and eat you, you're not_ that_ delicious," Joel chuckled.

Sonny both blushed in embarrassment and in rage, but he knew Joel was just poking fun at him. Joel rolled his eyes and then pressed his lips to Sonny's quickly. He then pulled back and put on a thoughtful face. He smacked his lips and then smiled.

"I think we're going to have a problem with the bear after all," Joel winked.

Sonny rolled his eyes and then waited patiently as Joel unlocked the door and opened it. The couple stepped inside the house and a light was flicked on. The door behind them was closed and the warmth of the house was welcoming.

Sonny couldn't help but look down the hallway that stretched from where they stood. It was very fancy-looking. The walls half-painted a pale yellow and the other half a crisp white. A tiny statue of a white Persian cat sit next to a painting of Mother Mary on the mantle near another room. Sonny wanted to inspect the rest of the house, but Joel pointed to a door to their left and smiled at him. Sonny had a close idea to where that led.

"Come," Joel said and jammed his other key into the lock.

It popped open and Sonny held his breath. The nervous kick came again but this time Sonny held himself up and followed Joel downstairs.

Sonny smiled when Joel turned on the light at the bottom of the stairs. The place looked comfortable. The walls were beige and the floor was panelled in oak wood. The furniture didn't all match each other, but that was the least of Sonny's concern. A little coffee table held a few magazines and a tissue box. Underneath the table there were used tissues and empty take-out containers. Sonny giggled as he watched Joel run over to clean up the mess.

Sonny followed as Joel took his hand and led him around into the tiny kitchen that connected almost entirely to the living room, but was bordered off by a marble counter island. Sonny sat on an uncomfortable, orange plastic-topped stool chair and smiled over the counter at Joel as he scrimmaged through the fridge. Finally, under mountains of take-out containers, Joel pulled a long bottle of cheap wine and set it on the counter. He grabbed two tall, plastic wine glasses and set one gently in front of Sonny. Sonny laughed.

"Wine, my dearest male?"

"I don't like wine, you know that,"

"Well, it's not really wine," Joel picked up the bottle and swooshed around the liquid inside, "It's more like acid,"

Sonny laughed and then touched Joel's hand. Joel looked down into Sonny's eyes and smiled. He leaned down to plant a soft kiss to his lips. Sonny pulled him in closer and deepened the kiss almost instantly. Joel moaned and grabbed a fistful of Sonny's long, raven hair. His hair smelled like... _mmmmm_... chicken.

Joel's eyes popped open then and he let go of Sonny, "Chicken!"

Sonny was confused but then sniffed the air and smiled,

"You made me dinner? Since when are _you _romantic?" Sonny joked.

Joel laughed, "Sofi helped me make it, but I thought of it," He half-lied. Never in his lifetime would he have thought up something so brilliantly romantic. He owed Sofi the world at that moment.

As soon as Sonny entered the little dining area, he stopped and almost took a step back until Joel came up from behind him and wrapped his slender arms around his boyfriend's waist. He smiled at Sonny's surprised and flabbergasted reaction. But as soon as he felt the smaller boy quiver under him, he jumped in confusion. Sonny was crying.

"Babe, what's wrong? Please don't be upset, it's probably better then it looks," Joel bit his lip and prayed that the food was indeed better then it looked.

"N-no, it's perfect," Sonny shooed Joel away and wiped his eyes, "Oh my God, Joel..." He whispered and held his tongue.

He's never had anyone do this for him before. Joel once surprised him for his sixteenth birthday by throwing a surprise party, and it was emotional, yes, but something as careful as a dinner being thought of for your boyfriend... that was something different. Sonny felt the warmth from Joel's presence. The first time entering his place. The first time getting a surprise dinner. The first time he's ever been so scared and so unsure in his entire life. He thought about Rudy and then quickly shoved him out of his mind. The thought of that gorgeous, conceited idiot was not about to ruin this beautiful night.

"This is honestly the best dinner I've ever had," Joel laughed.

"Me too, tell Sofi I say thanks," Sonny winked at his boyfriend from across the table.

"I will, she's honestly amazing," Joel laughed and then quickly died down when he noticed Sonny lower his gaze at his dinner with a faded smile. _Shit, I didn't mean it like that. _"Like, sometimes she cooks me dinner and whatever," Sonny didn't look up. Joel mentally kicked himself. S_hut up, shut up, shut up._

Sonny thought about this for a second. Sofi made his boyfriend dinner before? They must hang out a lot for them to be so comfortable with each other like this. Even the memories of Sofi had stained Sonny's mind... the way she acted toward him when Joel wasn't around was very fishy and not to mention suspicious. Sonny had a feeling Sofi didn't like him much... but was she in love with Joel? Sonny's whole body was heated up by that thought and he suddenly felt almost jealous.

"You guys hang out often?" Sonny asked in a lowered voice, examining his dinner with his fork and not daring to look up.

"N-not always. We liked to hang out sometimes, but not usually. Like, we play video games and stuff and whatever, nothing much really," Joel seriously didn't have a filter.

Sonny wanted to cry. So they _do _hang out a lot. Seems like they hang out a little too often too. Sonny wanted to find this girl and beat her up. Even though he was against violating a girl like that, this was no girl to him. Sofi was a relationship-wrecking monster. Sonny's anger deepened but he tried with all his might to keep it inside him, even though it snarled and ripped at the walls of his throat for a release.

"She's such a nice girl," Sonny finally said and looked up at Joel, "Very tasteful and not to mention pretty," Sonny confessed with a fake-as-can-be smile, and Joel knew it.

"Yeah, I guess," Joel shrugged. Everything went quiet. Joel wanted to murder himself brutally then and there.

As the boys ate their dinner in silence, Sonny was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable. Almost as if he was guilty for leaving Rudy all alone in the theatre. He still wanted to have friends and be liked, but that note at school and the fact that Rudy kept kissing him... and now knowing the fact that Joel and Sofi are more involved with each other then he originally thought... Sonny wanted to gag. He held his stomach under the table and took a deep breath. He couldn't handle the fact that Rudy's eyes left stains in his mind. He couldn't be forgotten and it made Sonny quickly loose his appetite.

Sonny's stomach lurked and he closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Heart burn. He quickly got up from his chair and then regretted doing just that. The bile rose to his throat and he stammered a bit, clutching onto the table with all his might. Joel quickly got up and ran around to the other side of the table to help Sonny up.

"You okay?" Joel tried to look at Sonny, but Sonny kept looking away, "Come, I'll take you to the bathroom,"

The boys spent about an hour sitting in the bathroom as Sonny occasionally threw up. Joel cursed himself. What did Sofi put in the food? Maybe she didn't like Sonny that much after all... maybe his own words made his boyfriend sick? Joel's mind grew miserable with rage.

"What did you do before you came here? Did you already eat?" Joel meant to ask kindly, but the words came out with his own self-disgust.

Sonny wiped his mouth and glowered at Joel, "I was at the movies..."

Joel went silent and stared at Sonny in a surprising and yet slightly annoyed way. What was he doing at the theatre? Was he hanging out with his new friends?

"With who?" Joel asked quietly, looking down at the floor, not really wanting to know the answer.

"With Rudy," Sonny said bleakly.

Joel didn't snap. He just stared at the floor and listened to his boyfriend get sick again. He felt a welling of tears in his eyes and quickly brushed them away. That was it then, Sonny officially lost interest in him. He knew it was just a matter of time. They haven't had sex in such a long time and Sonny's attitude was changing drastically the past few weeks that they've known Rudy. Did they already kiss? Probably. No doubt. Rudy does have those amazing eyes and luscious looking lips. Joel suddenly wondered how Sonny would feel if it were _he _who spent hours preparing dinner with his friend and cleaning up his house to impress his boyfriend and then finding out he's been cheating all along.

Joel closed his eyes and let the thought kick in. He didn't move though, as frustrated and angry and sad as he was, he just sat there and looked after his... whatever Sonny even _was _at that point to him.

_Would he be mad if I kissed him goodnight?_

Joel waited until Sonny got up and flushed. Sonny turned around and saw Joel look up at him with moistened eyes. Sonny tried not to melt into his arms and stood his ground. He just looked down at Joel, feeling greatly disappointed in him... and himself. He shouldn't have said he was with Rudy but he couldn't get the fact that Joel was spending more time Sofi then himself out of his jealous side of the brain. He cleared his throat and looked to the floor.

"I guess... I should go now," Sonny said quietly, "Thanks for dinner."

Joel gave him a watery smile, "No problem." He managed to croak.

They stayed there for a couple minutes more in complete silence until Joel got up from the edge of the tub and rubbed his arm, "I guess I should drive you home, right?"

Sonny stammered but before he could say anything, Joel left the bathroom. Sonny stopped breathing. What has he done? He turned to look at the mirror and pressed his lips together. He forced himself not to cry, though it was so painful not to.

He stared at the mirror but he didn't recognize who was looking back at him. It seemed like the little frightened child in the reflection had too big of a nose and too small of lips. His eyes were too dark and the circles shown under them from lack of sleep were just too noticeable. His hair was too long and unclean and messy. His skin was too blotchy and what the hell happened to his charming and inspirational haircut? No wonder Joel wasn't interested in him anymore... he was just a hopeless wreck. And what about Rudy? Did he really like Sonny like he said he did?

_Rudy just wants to destroy you. He wants to make you believe he likes you and then he'll go and step on you and make fun of you and tease you like everyone's been doing all along. You're such an easy target. Just look at yourself..._

Sonny took a couple deep breathes and then tore his eyes off the mirror. He ran out of the bathroom and then stopped when he saw Joel waiting patiently by the stairs in his thin jacket. His expression was somewhat saddened and angered. Sonny sighed. He guessed that was it then.

Joel drove Sonny home and like he expected, no kiss. Just a sullen goodnight and then he watched Sonny run into the front doors. As soon as Joel drove off, he burst into struggling tears and panicked trying to catch his breath and hold the steering wheel.

_What happened to us?_

As soon as he went back to his apartment, he flopped on the couch and sighed. He was completely drained from crying and his throat was raw from sobbing so hard. He looked at his phone in hopes Sonny texted him, but the only message that was there was from Sofi. He rubbed his eye and read the message more clearly.

_"Hope you had a fun night! if you need me, just text or call. I'll be upstairs!" ~xo Sofi_

Joel pressed his lips together and thought about Sonny. He wanted to see Sonny as the boyfriend he so desperately loved, but now that he pictured him, Sonny was alone and beautiful as always. He was next to Rudy. Rudy with a conniving smile on his face and his arms stretched around Sonny's perfectly slim waist and his lips on Sonny's perfectly structured neck and his hands touching... touching... Joel bit his lip and shook the image out of his mind. He instantly called Sofi.

* * *

Sonny was crying in his mother's embrace. He couldn't help but realize how childish he must've looked, but he didn't care. He needed a comforting women's touch and his mother's arms was the safest place in the world right now. He didn't say a word to her but she instantly knew his little date with Joel went terribly wrong. She didn't even have to say anything because it was all mother's instinct. Sonny liked that his mother was so caring now.

She stroked his hair and hugged him tightly for what seemed like forever and then finally pulled him away to look at his face, but he hid into her blouse again. She then yanked his head up and he looked at her. He stopped crying so much.

"Whenever you want to tell me, whatever you want to tell me, I promise I wont get mad or upset with you or Joel, unless you want me to, alright?" She said to him with raised eyebrows.

He nodded and then sobbed into her shirt again. She rocked her little boy in her arms and sighed deeply. That moment brought back so many good memories.

* * *

Joel and Sofi sat at the dinner table. She ate a bit and then relaxed back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest. Joel told her what happened and she just silently ate and listened as he confessed what he's said about them hanging out a lot and then went off to tell her about Sonny's little movie date with the troublemaker.

Sofi knew Sonny was just trouble from the start. She really had nothing nice to say at that moment so she remained silent and just looked at Joel as he mindlessly stared back at her, not really waiting for an answer, but more like waiting for some sort of comforting movement from her. So far the most she's done was just compliment on the smell of her own meal and then asked why Joel's eyes were red and if he took up smoking weed. The rest of the conversation-slash-rant came naturally and Sofi was a great listener when it came to stuff like that. But this time seemed different. She was less apathetic, but Sofi knew it was because she was right the whole time.

"Maybe you guys should take a break," Sofi suggested and watched Joel's face flash to horror, "Listen, before you go all ape-shit on me, remember that Sonny was going on a date with a guy that he _knew _had some sort of crush thing with him, you felt it too right? Isn't that what you told me?"

Joel nodded.

"So I think it's best if you just take a little break and if you miss him and if he misses you then it should all go back together. Give each other space, it helps," She honestly wasn't sure if she was giving the best advice at that moment, but she prayed that they wouldn't get back together for the sake of Joel's heart ache. She couldn't stand to see such a gorgeous man crying all the time and being leashed by a mate who did nothing but torture him.

Joel nodded and then looked down.

Sofi noticed how long Joel's eyelashes were just then. She couldn't almost feel them tickle her cheek as he blinked out a last tear or tear. She wished he would realize how much she cared for him, even though he probably didn't feel that strongly about her. As long as her friend was happy, she was happy.

"Come here," Sofi said, getting up from her seat with opened arms.

Joel looked up at her and then slowly got up and watched her mesmerizing hazel eyes follow his deep brown ones. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. She sighed into his shirt and held his head close to hers. Even though he smelled like super strong, nose-tingling cologne, she could stay like this forever. When they parted, she noticed Joel was still lightly touching her waist. A shiver ran up her spine and she took another glance into the man's eyes. He looked stoned out of his mind but she knew he was crying a lot and was probably tired from all the drama.

"Well, It's getting late, I have to go to work tomorrow," Sofi smiled and then stopped when she noticed Joel's eyes moving down to her lips. She looked at his lips and then back into his eyes. She wasn't sure what was going to happen so she took a step back away from his touch and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Goodnight Joel," She smiled and quickly escaped the apartment.

When the door shut, Joel sat back down with a slump and held his head in his hands. That was when moments later he heard the door swing open again and quick-paced footsteps run down the stairs. As he looked up, he saw Sofi walk in front of him and then stop, almost out of breath.

"Oh yeah, one more thing," She grabbed his face with her hands and pressed her lips against his, tasting the bitter-sweet luxury that was Joel. She stepped back and reviewed his expression. He was severely shocked and she smiled. "Goodnight," She leapt off and ran back upstairs.

Joel stared after her and then licked his lips. He forgot how soft girl's lips could really be. He smiled to himself and then stopped. Sonny... he sighed and went back to sobbing.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for those of you still killing yourselves over the suspense of this story, I hope you're enjoying it so far! I'd like to hear what you guys have to say! Don't be shy to send me a private message or review (: **

**And to a guest reader who is going through a rough time with the death of her pet... RibbonRevolution. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your bunny. Your pet is in a better, happier, and healthier new state. Thank you as well for the reviews, it means so much to me! I wish you had an account so I could PM you sometime. I wish you happiness!**


	8. Chapter 8 Turmoil

**AN: Another chapter! Enjoy! **

* * *

Sonny went to school almost a whole week later. Friday. He was so happy it was Friday, that meant he had the night and the whole weekend to just relax with his wonderful boyfr- He stopped at his locker and lingered his hand over the lock. He kept forgetting he didn't even have a boyfriend anymore. Joel didn't really break up with him, but times have changed since then. He hasn't talked to Joel since Sunday. He didn't even get a text and he was much too scared to text him. He remembered that Joel was older then him and that Sonny was probably just being immature... or maybe Joel was the immature one... Sonny just pushed past his over-thinking mind and opened his locker. A note was stuck to the inside of the door. He did a double-take, looked around him and then carefully peeled it off the door to read it.

_"Hey Sonny, sorry for kissing you without permission last night, I know it totally goes against bro code and I know you're in a relationship and all... I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me. ~Rudy"_

Sonny was sort of relieved but at the same time angry. How the hell did Rudy get his locker combination? He shut his locker and immediately threw the note in the garbage after ripping it to shreds. Just as he turned around to get to his next class, someone bumped into him and it sent him flying back. He stammered and then looked at the assholes who did it. They just walked away, laughing. Sonny straightened up and rubbed the arm he got bumped on. He wanted to run after them and pummel them to the ground, but he knew he had no such power.

He walked to his class and then the next, and then it was lunch. Something was awfully different though. Usually he would be outside with his lunch, texting Joel or going out to lunch by himself. He looked left and right and made his way into the noisy cafeteria. He lined up and got a small serving of fries and a sliver of pizza. Sonny wasn't feeling all that hungry today. He walked out of the line and looked around, noticing that everyone was either caught up talking with their friends, or reading a book. Some kids were hustled up in their winter coats, ready to go out for a cigarette or two. That's what Sonny should be doing right now instead of worrying about the awkward encounter this morning, but he just wasn't up for it. He also recognized one of the people to be the guy who was laughing at him a day ago about that picture...

Sonny pressed his lips together and walked out of the cafeteria. He wondered the halls a bit. He's never had to wonder before, he was usually called over by a couple of girls so they could chat, but nobody has done that yet. The halls were pretty evacuated. There were a couple making out in a corner, but he ignored it and walked away. He stopped when he smelled something familiar. He looked to his right and saw the library. He looked around inside and then tossed his food out in the garbage next to the entrance. He walked into the library and was friendlily welcomed by the librarians. He smiled back and then made his way toward the shelves.

Nothing caught his attention yet. He frowned and then turned around and one of the librarians was right behind him. He jumped a bit and then waved.

"You looking for anything specific, sir?" She asked.

Sonny shook his head. She just giggled.

"May I suggest something then?" She raised her thin, red eyebrows at him. He shrugged and she smiled a pink smile, "Right this way, this is our fantasy isle,"

"Oh, m-miss, I'm really not interested in fantasy books," Sonny was once, but that phase had gone over his head a while ago.

"Oh trust me, you seem like the type of boy who would love this book," She scanned her long, red finger nail along the spines of the books until she found what she was looking for, "Aha! Have you ever read this?" She held up a book.

Sonny took his glasses off the rim of his shirt and put them on. He held the book and then frowned.

_Graceling _by Kristin Cashore.

"Anytime you'd like to just come in and read, you're absolutely welcomed to," She smiled and walked away.

Sonny sighed. He realized he would be coming there often. He took a seat in one of the plush library chairs and smiled to himself. Comfy. He opened the book and read the first chapter name. "_Lady Killer". _He groaned.

Sonny John Moore was completely alone.

* * *

Joel was doing something he thought he was never going to catch himself doing alone. Grocery shopping. As much as he didn't enjoy eating, he knew he needed to get nutrients in his Cola-filled bloodstream. Sofi usually shopped with him... but he needed a little time to screw his head back on. Maybe he still wasn't fit on having a relationship. Maybe he wasn't mature enough to be all that Sonny needed in life. Maybe he wasn't good enough for Sonny at all. He knew he wasn't a very strong person, and trying to be strong for both he and Sonny was basically impossible.

It's been a whole five days since he's talked to his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, he guessed. He sighed. He didn't understand.

Sonny's whole life was filled in miserable turmoil, but Joel realized that everything Sonny went through revived itself in the end. Joel was still dealing with his own personal issues. Joel was still unsure how he felt about everything that was going on now but he knew that all he wanted to do was just sit on the couch and rot.

He brought a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a litre carton of chocolate milk up to the cash register and sighed. The lady at the register cocked an eyebrow at him and chuckled.

"That's my favourite combination on a lonely, cold Friday night too," She said with a deep, raspy voice and shrugged, "I usually like to warm up the milk first though, makes it dilute the sweetness somewhat,"

Joel looked at the lady and instantly straightened his back. He noticed she had a giant rose tattooed on the right side of her neck. Her makeup was smokey and the eyeliner was winged. Somehow it looked really soft and gentle, but at the same time dangerous. He couldn't help but wonder why Walmart would hire someone with neck tattoos, but he didn't really care. Whoever this lady was... she sure was gorgeous. He just nodded and took note of that in his mind about the warm milk. The lady just laughed again.

"I said cash or credit, sir?" She smiled a red-lipped smile and raked her long, black nails through her shiny, dark hair, "I don't have all night, I gotta get home and feed my stupid cat,"

"Uhmm, yeah, cash," Joel handed her a ten.

She cashed it in and gave him the change, "Have a good night,"

"Yeah... you too," Joel nodded and then smiled when she smiled once again.

Joel walked outside into the harsh windy night and then secured himself in his car. He didn't turn it on though, he just sat there. He rubbed his arms as the cold nipped at his skin and looked over at the empty seat beside him. He felt his eyes weld up with tears.

He started to sob until his phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly opened the new message. Sofi.

_"I didn't know you went out... can u pick up some whole wheat bread please? ~Sofi xo"_

Joel just stared at the message and then stuffed the phone in his pocket. He wiped away his tears and then got out of the truck again. He walked back into the store and then straight for the bread isle. He skimmed the shelves and then sighed. He couldn't even think straight and Sofi was requesting him to buy bread? He already mistakenly bought the wrong milk, he just wanted regular white. He was getting so hot and frustrated. He grabbed out a random package of bread and tried to yank it out of the other jammed pieces of bread. He finally yanked it free, but it went flying and hit someone behind him. He whipped around when he heard a pained yelp.

"I'm so sorry," He gasped and quickly picked the bread off of the floor.

The lady looked up at Joel with long eyelashes and beautiful, sparkling brown eyes. He swallowed hard and she just laughed.

"That's alright, I've been whipped with worse things then bread before," She assured him with that familiar, raspy voice, "Do you need some help?"

"Uh, I was looking for whole wheat..." He responded weakly.

"Whole grain what? Bagels? Flat bread? Sliced?" She asked.

"Sliced,"

She shoved him over a bit and scanned the isle, then grabbed at the plastic and slid it out of the shelf. She balanced it in her hands and then turned around and smiled a white, toothy smile.

"Here we are," She handed Joel the bread, "I need bagels. I like blueberry," She turned around again and Joel got some of her soft hair in his face.

She smelled like cigarettes and rose petals. He kind of liked it.

"There's some right there," Joel pointed to the right.

She looked at him and pursed her lips, "Thanks," She slowly grabbed a package out while still examining him and then stood up straight and tapped her chin with her nails, "You know, I never got your name,"

"I'm Joel,"

"I'm Kat," She stuck out her fully tattooed hand to him, "Nice to meet you Joel.

That was when Joel realized how many tattoos the women was sporting. She moved her bangs out of her face and that was when he noticed stars coming down from the left side of her face. He was almost amazed... was her _whole _body tattooed? He then looked at her face as a whole and realized she was still staring at him.

"W-what?" He asked, feeling very small and uncomfortable.

"Oh nothing, you're just kind of cute," She chuckled, "What are you doing tonight, Joel? Did you want to hang out?"

Joel stammered and then thought about the request. He thought about Sonny. They were technically broken up, right? He took another look at this girl named Kat and then smiled.

"Okay,"

* * *

All Sonny could do was contemplate that night. All week he never got any time to himself to just think. He didn't know how to feel about the situation. He felt like his heart was just ripped into a million pieces and thrown all over the place, scattered and never to be picked up again. He couldn't even bare to go on the computer to check his emails or anything because he knew that there was no hope that Joel would text him, not after he told him about Rudy. But Joel didn't know that they kissed, did he? Would he ever know or find out? What if he were to kiss Rudy right now, what would Sonny feel? Would Sonny feel like he was betraying Joel or would he feel as if he'd moved on? Did Sonny even love Joel anymore?

Of course he loved Joel, why would he even make that crazy accusation on himself. He didn't want to go through the night alone. He talked to his mother previously, but there was only a fraction of stuff that he could tell his mom about when it came to his gay love life. He needed a friend, but he was totally alone. The way the last few days went by was terrifying. Sonny was honestly feeling like he was back in grade ten, fighting everyday to live. He didn't want to feel like that anymore.

His stomach growled. Was he even hungry? Or maybe it was the empty feeling inside that came with heartache. Joel ripped out everything Sonny once knew well.

Sonny curled up on his bed and sobbed. Was Joel crying too? Did Joel even care? Sonny wanted to set fire to himself and show Joel exactly how he felt. Sonny looked at his phone. No new messages. He grew angry and then went to his contact list and searched. Searched for Rudy. He paused for a second.

What if Sonny was making a mistake? What if Rudy didn't actually like him? What if what he thought was completely right, and Rudy just wanted to humiliate the shit out of Sonny. Sonny put his phone down and pressed his lips together.

He jumped almost ten feet in the air when his house phone rang. They haven't gotten a house call in forever. He forgot he even had a phone in his room. He just silently laid back down and closed his eyes. He could sleep and never wake up. That was an option...

"Sonny! It's for you!" His mother called from the other room.

Sonny perked up and looked at the phone. He didn't recognize the number. He picked up the phone hesitantly and pressed it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sonny! Did you get my note?" Rudy asked.

Sonny froze and butterflies started to erupt in his stomach, "Y-yeah."

"So?" He asked.

"I... I forgive you." Sonny bit his lip and looked down at his phone. The background was of him and Joel hugging from last Valentine's day.

"That's great! Thank you!" Rudy exclaimed.

"Hey, did you want to hang out tonight?" Sonny asked, shutting off his cell phone so he didn't have to look at the picture anymore.

"Uhm... yeah, definitely! You aren't going to ditch me again are you?" Rudy asked.

"Only if you kiss me," Sonny chuckled. Rudy laughed. "So, when did you want to pick me up?"

"Oh, uhm... how about now? I'm not doing anything,"

"Are your parents home?" Sonny asked, toying with his cell, waiting for Joel to stop him.

"Uh... yeah, but they're actually going out in a bit..."

"Perfect," Sonny smiled and picked at the loose lint from his bedsheets, "I'll get ready then,"

"Alright, see you soon,"

Sonny hung up and then held the phone a little longer in his grasp. He closed his eyes and then reopened them again to find his vision blurry. He hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes free of tears. He turned on his cell phone and saw the picture again. He went to his settings and changed it to a midnight sky with a lightening bolt rippling through it.

Sonny got off the bed and opened the door slowly. His mother was watching TV. He walked down the hallway and into the living room.

"I'm going out," He said and grabbed his coat off the hanger.

"To where? Who was that on the phone?"

He cleared his throat, "I'm going to, uhm... Joel's house. He called to invite me over," Sonny lied.

"Oh, you guys are good now?" She asked with a smile.

"Yup," He lied again, "Well I'm going to go wait for him outside okay? I'll text you later,"

"Have fun, tell him I say hi." She mumbled and went back to watching TV.

* * *

Joel placed two warm bowls onto the table and smiled at his new lady friend. She winked at him and then laughed.

"Thanks man," She took a spoonful into her mouth.

Joel laughed, "Quite the appetite," He just stared down at his cereal and stirred it around with his fork.

"Not you?" She asked with a mouthful, she swallowed and then chuckled, "So what exactly happened? You seem so depressed, or is this just you every day?"

He shrugged, "I pretty much just dumped someone I loved,"

"Ah," She pursed her lips and clinked her spoon lightly against the bowl, "I haven't been with someone for almost five months, so this is my usual diet," She laughed.

Joel raised his eyebrows and looked at her, "But that's impossible, you're beautiful,"

She stopped smiling and then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and chuckled, her face was getting red and Joel realized what he just said.

"Sorry," He said.

"Naw, it's cool," She looked back up at him, "Maybe it's just how I am, you know? It doesn't really matter if someone is beautiful on the outside, and I'm going to be really corny right now, but it's honestly what's on the inside that counts," She shrugged, "I guess something inside of me just puts men off. I'd hate to know what it is though,"

Joel thought about that and shrugged, "Well you seem exceptional, but then again we just met like half an hour ago, so I couldn't really tell you what was wrong."

She laughed, "I didn't expect you to,"

He smiled.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your girlfriend? Why did you break it off with her?"

Joel didn't correct her. He was still a little uncomfortable talking about his love life, but he just went along with it, "Well, she sort of cheated on me before she came over and then she thought I was cheating on her and then we sort of stopped talking to each other... she still goes to school, so I thought she was just busy with her studies,"

"Yeah, could've been. College is a pain, that's why I work at Wal-Mart," She laughed.

"Actually... high school,"

Kat's eyes grew wide and she bit her lip, "Oh... So how old are you actually, Joel?"

"Twenty-one," Joel said.

"Oh, thank God, I thought you were, like, still in high school," She laughed, "I'm twenty, if you're curious."

Joel smiled. Now it was awkward.

"So... what did you wanna do?" Kat asked, picking up her empty bowl from the table and walking past Joel and into the kitchen.

"Doesn't matter," Joel sat back in his chair and watched her leave. She had quite an ass. Joel looked away. _Stop it. You're sick. _"I guess it depends how long you want to stay... Do you like movies?"

"Sure, movies are rad," Kat responded and put the dish in the dishwasher, "What movies you got?"

"Uh..." Joel got out of his seat and quickly walked toward the box next to the TV set. He frowned.

Kat walked over and crouched next to him, she laughed, "These are all video games,"

"Yeah... I don't really watch movies unless my neighbour brings one down," He gnawed on his lip.

"Oh! Sick! You have_ Black Ops 2_!," Kat grabbed out the_ Call of Duty_ game and set it up in the PS3, "I haven't played this one yet, but I am master at Black Ops."

"Wanna bet? I can kick your ass no sweat," Joel laughed, thinking he's going to get beat by a girl.

"Twenty bucks," Kat smiled.

Joel raised an eyebrow. She can't be serious, "Twenty bucks?"

"Yeah, we're betting," Kat poked his shoulder, "Unless you're too chicken... bok, bok, bok..." She started making absurd clucking noises and using her bent arms to resemble wings.

"Yeah fucking right, bring it on," Joel slapped her away and started the game.

"Don't go easy on me, dude, or I'll kick your ass for real," Kat smiled.

"Fine," Joel agreed.

After much tiring play (almost an hour later) Joel was demolished and Kat cheered in victory.

"Haha! Twenty bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand," She winked and held out her hand.

Joel just ignored her and fell backwards onto the ground. His thumbs were hurting. His head was hurting. He hasn't played video games in such a long time, it was usually because Sonny wasn't interested in getting beat all the time. Sonny liked video games and all, but he was more into getting up and active then sitting around all day, eating disgusting hot chocolate milk cereal, and being violent.

Kat laughed demoniacally and laid down next to Joel.

"Phew, haven't played that hard in a while, good game," She elbowed Joel.

Joel elbowed her back. She grunted and punched his arm. He sat up and narrowed his eyes at her. Kat's eyes widened and she tried to hide a smile.

"Oh shit," She whispered.

Joel pounced on her and she began to laugh. She pushed him off and then tackled him. He tried to sit up but she wrapped her legs around his waist and pinned his shoulders to the floor.

"Give up?" She asked with a sweetheart grin.

Joel closed his eyes and smiled. He nodded and then opened his eyes. Kat stopped grinning and noticed the charming delicacy in Joel's brown eyes. She pressed her lips together and rolled off of him. Joel was confused and sat up to look at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, recognizing that look from spending too many sad moments with Sonny.

"Nothing, I just don't know what came over me," Kat shook her head a bit and pushed her dark bangs back. Joel silently sighed and then crawled over to sit in front of her. She smiled. "What?"

Joel shrugged and then stroked the back of his fingers across her cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed. She held his hand to her cheek and when she opened her eyes, the romantic flare was gone out of them. Joel was confused.

"No," She smiled, "I wanna be friends. You're in a terrible state right now, I can see it. You're still in love with her. Your eyes say it all."

Joel raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something, but she silenced him.

"The way you look at me... you're searching for _her_. Whenever I smile, it takes a moment for you to smile back. You're still thinking about her, Joel. You should call her," She took Joel's hand away from her cheek and pressed a kiss into it, then let it go. Joel kept staring at her. She smiled, "Goodnight, Joel. Stop by at Wal-Mart some time next week, I'd love to beat you at Black Ops again," She winked and then got up from the floor.

"Want me to walk you to the car then?" Joel asked, a little bummed out.

She laughed, "Don't be so sad, just call her," She waved him off and then trotted up the stairs.

Joel rubbed his eyes. He guessed he had no choice.

* * *

**AN: Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are lovely as always! Thank you for reading! xox**


	9. Chapter 9 Sleeping Beauty Pills

**AN: Sorry I've been away for a while! Hope you didn't miss me!**

* * *

Sonny's state of mind was in pure delight. He clutched tightly onto the t-shirt of the man who was grinding up under him. The man was leaving hazy, wet kissing trails up and down Sonny's neck, the occasional biting here and there, and then apologetically kissing the wounds. Sonny closed his eyes and hummed against the rhythm of their bodies. He reached Sonny's lips and salty-tasting fingers slipped between them. Sonny licked and sucked at them, tasting the calloused hands of the mystery man. He was unable to open his eyes and see who this man was, but he didn't mind, it made the experience all the more sexy and dangerous.

Nothing felt as real as he had hoped, he almost felt as if he were sedated, unable to feel the smooth of real skin against skin.

Sonny let the fingers go and was then flipped over onto his hands and knees. Sonny took a deep breath and rested his head against the hard floor, dipping his back and sticking his rear higher up. He can feel the man's wet fingers trail down his spine; it gave him shivers. As the man's tongue worked magic below, Sonny moaned and clutched onto whatever was underneath him. It felt like some sort of shag rug.

The stranger popped a finger into Sonny and Sonny gasped. It was so sudden, Sonny thought there would be a little more tease in this man. Sonny's hair was swept out of his sweaty face and the man began to nip at his neck again. Sonny moaned and felt his rectum being stretched a bit. He gasped again as the man pushed his finger farther in.

"Sonny," The man whispered in his ear.

Sonny bit his lip and closed his eyes tighter. The man quickly added another fingers and then tried to stretch Sonny wider. Sonny took a deep breath in and then groaned louder. He wanted to cry out. He opened his eyes and could now see. Everything around him was black. He felt like he was floating above his body for a second.

A flash of red.

Sonny felt a rip through his body as the man pounded into him suddenly. Sonny cried out in pain. It wasn't starting to feel so good anymore. He turned his head to look at who it was, now that he was able to see. And what he saw was another flash of red. Sonny screamed and fell forward, but the man grasped his waist tightly and pulled him over again.

Sonny felt like he was being split into two as the man continued the abuse. Each time Sonny would cry and see a flash of red. Red with... two white dots... He tried to look behind him again, but the man spun him onto his back. Sonny gasped.

The red flash with two dots was almost clear to him.

"Sonny." The man whispered angrily again behind the giant, red mouse helmet, "Sonny?" He said again, only in a questioning manner.

"Fuck me," Sonny moaned, almost in tears, "Fuck me, Deadmouse,"

"What?"

Sonny twitched and then pried his eyes open when he felt a realistic fleshy touch to the cheek.

Rudy was staring at him, wide-eyed and full of question. When he saw the stunned expression on Sonny's face, he began to laugh.

"Were you just having a wet dream? Sorry for interrupting," He laughed again.

"W-what? No! Why are you here?" Sonny asked. Rudy raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"Uhm, you called me and asked if I was busy and then came over. We were playing DDR and then you got the winds knocked out of you... do you not remember anything?" Rudy bit his lip and looked Sonny up and down.

Sonny thought about this and felt his feet slowly turn into pins and needles. He w_as_ playing DDR... his feet always went numb when he danced too hard.

"Did I bump my head on anything?" Sonny asked, feeling around in his mass of tangled hair for any bumps.

"You did... you kind of hit the coffee table when you slipped on the dance mat." Rudy walked over to the table and grabbed his phone off it, "I called the ER as soon as I got you comfortable lying down. They still didn't show up."

"How long was I out for?" Sonny said, finally finding the painfully large lump on his head.

"About 10 minutes. I guess as long as you needed to have your wet dream," He laughed, "Was it about your boyfriend?"

Sonny wrinkled his nose in disgust for Rudy's nosiness, but nonetheless sighed.

"Joel's not my boyfriend anymore... we broke up a week ago," Sonny said glumly, looking down at his hands.

"Oh, so that's why you wanted to come over," Rudy said, nodding with a smile. Sonny shot him a look and Rudy chuckled, "I'm just messing with you,"

But Sonny knew that that was the reason exactly.

"Did you want some water? Try not to move around too much," Rudy said, disappearing into the next room.

"Yeah, thanks," Sonny said, slowly getting comfortable on the couch.

Rudy sat on the other couch quietly and flicked on the TV. Sonny kept an eye on his friend and watched how intent and focused he was on what was going on on the news. Sonny smiled and rolled his eyes, sipping his icy water. He closed his lids and thought about his life in LA before. He remembered Rudy to be so shy and content, but when he really didn't like someone, he would constantly put them down and pick on them. He was mostly an introvert though and never really made friends. Well, Sonny was his neighbour and usually went over to Rudy's place a lot, but Rudy didn't like to go out so much. Every time Sonny would call, Rudy would be in the middle of an Xbox game or a chat room conversation.

Now that Sonny got a good look at this new Rudy, he felt as if he was a completely different person. He's changed so much. His hobbies, the way he acts, his popularity. But the one thing that never changed were those eyes.

Sonny almost sighed when he saw Rudy's eyes from the corner of his own. They were big and an odd colour blue; a vibrant, sapphire blue. Sonny's never seen anything like them in his life.

The first time Sonny met Rudy was when he was 8 years old. His mom told him that they were getting new neighbours. Sonny was really excited because back then there was no judgement, and back then Sonny actually liked talking and meeting new friends. When he met Rudy, they became really close, but Rudy attended a public school, and Sonny attended a Catholic. He wasn't about to jump at the fact that Rudy now went to a Catholic school, because frankly religion choice wasn't any of his business, even though he knew Rudy was of Jewish decent.

There was a knock on the door and Rudy looked at Sonny. Sonny got up from the couch and then hissed in pain and sat back down.

"Stay there, I'll let them in," Rudy disappeared.

Moments later, Sonny was on the stretcher and was loaded up into the back of the ambulance with a female nurse. Sonny closed his eyes and waited to be in the hospital.

* * *

Joel sat with his resume in front of a tiny desk. The knick-knacks and all a familiar space brought joy to Joel's dark soul. He had finally found a job that he knew he would get in with the blink of an eye and he didn't even have to try as hard. He felt very professional when he got dressed this morning (with a little fashion tip from Toufa Sofi) with his crisp white dress shirt and perfectly creased dress pants. His new shoes squeaked with every step he took, but he still loved how new it made him feel. Even his hair was jelled back to perfection.

Just then, a click of the doorknob echoed through the office and Joel smiled brightly when he saw a familiar face enter the room. The women stopped and groaned.

"Oh my god, Joel, stop following me around like a sick and lonely pup. You look like you just walked out of a photoshoot for_ 'Out Magazine'_," Yup, Ginger was still all there.

"Good, that means I'm sexy," Joel proudly sat up straighter and flashed his best smile. Ginger frowned.

"What do you want?" She asked, dusting off her white lolita skirt before flopping down in her office chair and glaring at Joel.

"A job, silly," He winked and handed her his resume, "I have lots of experience in the cleaning field now,"

"Cleaning what? Pools, or Sonny's diapers?" She asked, scanning the sheets. Joel rolled his eyes, "Wow, Zimmerman, impressive. You might actually qualify for this job,"

"Duh," Joel spat.

"Says here you've been cleaning houses for 2 years and_ actually_ make money out of it,"

"Yup,"

"Alright, I'll give you the job, but only because I still like you a little," Ginger raised her eyebrows.

"Damn right," Joel leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head, "When do I start?"

Ginger stared at Joel in disbelief and then looked down at her calender, "Tomorrow. But keep in mind that I'm not going to cut your bullshit like I did at the club okay? You do business here, not lolligagging around with your shitty taste in music and garbage-patch decent, alright? You clean mansions, which means there's a lot of expensive stuff around. You break one, they'll cut your head off and hang it next to their oil paintings of Piaf,"

Joel swallowed hard but gave a hard nod.

"Good, now get out of here. I'll see you tomorrow," Ginger rubbed her temples.

Joel smiled and happily leapt out of his seat. He swooped around the desk and pecked a kiss to Ginger's cheek. She jumped in surprise and slapped Joel's face.

"_Out!_"

When Joel got back home, he sent a quick text to Sofi so they could hang out, but he realized then that she would be at school. She took a good week off of school because she "wasn't feeling good", and that really messed up Joel's schedule. She was still a highschool student, like Sonny...

Joel paused in the kitchen when he thought about the shorter boy with dark hair. He growled at himself and opened the canteen. He grabbed out a bottle of straight Vodka and popped the top. He took a swig and then pulled the bottle from his lips, hissing and reading the ingredients. It was like they put straight _acid_ in that fucker. But Joel didn't care. He was hoping he would get smashed out of his mind and break a bone. Maybe even his neck.

He chuckled as he thought about this and took another few gulps of poison. He grabbed his wallet out of the pocket of his dress pants and opened it up to see typical, cutesy and romantic photobooth pictures of Sonny and him kissing, another making stupid faces, and then one of Sonny smiling brightly and widely at the camera as he shoved Joel away. It was probably the only pictures they had of themselves together because Joel knew how much Sonny hated getting his picture taken.

"Not as much as I do, Skrilly," Joel mumbled, "At least you look good in pictures... I look like... I don't even know... a _mouse. _A dead, fucking mouse."

* * *

Sonny was looking up at the ceiling of the resting area and took a deep breath in. He couldn't close his eyes. He wasn't tired at all and was too busy thinking about what to tell his mom. They informed Sonny that he should get well rested before he returned home. He had no head injuries or punctures or hemorrhages, so it was alright for him to return home after some rest and a couple more tests. But Sonny just couldn't sleep.

"Hey Sonny," Rudy whispered, entering the room just then, "The nurse said you were okay and that you wanted to see me, is that true?" Rudy asked with a tiny smile.

Sonny looked at Rudy and then smiled, finally relieved to see someone he knew was human, "I can't sleep,"

Rudy but his Styrofoam cup on the ground and crossed one leg over the other. He looked over at Sonny with a smile, "Did you want to talk about anything?"

Sonny's stomach turned when those piercing eyes looked him up and down. Rudy smiled.

"I'll start," He offered. Sonny smiled and nodded, "How's school?"

Sonny thought about this and shivered when he remembered the drawings... he decided not to mention that, "It's alright, I'm still getting semi-good grades so it's not that bad. What about you?"

"Oh, you know, straight A's," He winked. Sonny chuckled, "Except in gym... I hate gym,"

"Same here," Sonny nodded in agreement.

Rudy smiled at Sonny and then sighed, "You miss him, don't you?"

Sonny looked at Rudy in surprise and then thought about this. Joel was the love of his life, of course he missed him, but Sonny had to think of something else to spend all his time on from now until... whenever he decided to settle down with someone. He pulled his stare off Rudy and looked back at the ceiling.

Rudy chuckled, "It's okay, I just worry about you, you know?"

Sonny gave him a tiny smile, "Thanks,"

"So I guess it's your turn to ask the questions," Rudy sat back in his chair and raised his eyebrows at Sonny.

"Well, there w_as _something that I've been meaning to ask for a while now," Sonny pulled his eyebrows together in concern, "I remember you mentioning that the reason why your family moved here was because your parents found a better job. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't they successful entrepreneurs? I remember you guys being rich! Did you happen to go broke? Sorry for asking..."_  
_

Rudy filled his cheeks with air and then slowly let it out. Sonny saw the distress on his face and opened his mouth to change the subject, but Rudy was already answering the question, "Oh, um, well I kind of have to tell you something... I lied to you when I said that..."

Sonny stared at Rudy with disbelief, "What? Why?"

"I came to live with my aunt and uncle," He looked at Sonny. The room kind of darkened and Sonny could now feel the distress.

"W-what happened?" Sonny asked in a quiet voice.

Rudy looked at the floor and shook his head slowly, "My parents... died in a car accident when I was 13. My sister had already graduated and moved out to Europe to study Italian culture and whatnot... she never contacted any of us since. So, me being completely alone in the neighbourhood, it was really rough." He nodded and sighed, "I kind of let it go because I know none of them are ever coming back, but I like my new life here. I used to think I was being punished by feeling as if I was simply taken away from my loving family and dropped off at some stranger's house... I didn't know my aunt and uncle very well at all... they were kind of rude to me for years... but now that I've lived with them for four years I realized that I do love my aunt and my uncle, and my new friends. You know what? It really isn't all that bad... this is going to sound terrible, and I have no intent on it seeming so, but I think the death of my parents... kind of opened me up to the world, you know?"

Sonny stared wide-eyed at him for a couple seconds and then looked to the ground, trying to think about what his life would have been like if his own parents died... he shook the idea out of his mind and looked back at Rudy. Rudy was still staring at nothing, but Sonny saw the pain in his eyes. Sonny slowly sat up in his bed and pressed his lips together. Rudy looked at Sonny and rubbed at his eyes.

"Sorry for being emotional, I've never cried in front of people before," He chuckled as a tear fell, "I'm a complete mess,"

Sonny shook his head, "No you're not, you can cry in front of me, there's nothing to be ashamed of," Sonny watched as another tear fall from Rudy's eyes. Sonny wasn't sure how to comfort friends... he's never had to comfort anyone but Joel, but comforting a boyfriend was simple... "Come here," Sonny whispered and shuffled over to make room for Rudy. Rudy looked at him in surprise. Sonny opened his arms out for his friend. The only thing Sonny knew about Rudy now was how much a single hug meant to him.

Rudy got out of his chair slowly and cautiously crawled onto the bed. He looked at Sonny and then fell into his arms and cried softly into his sweater. Sonny stroked Rudy's hair and forced himself not to cry as well. He knew Rudy's parents well... he couldn't even begin to think of how hurt Rudy must've felt.

"That's kind of how I felt when I found out I was adopted..." Sonny whispered, "It felt as if my parents died and that I was shipped off to some sketchy, maniac's whore-house... but I do love my new family now, even if it is just Francis,"

"Sonny," Rudy whispered.

Sonny looked down at Rudy's blonde hair, "Yeah?"

"You never really told me what happened to your dad..."

Sonny's blood turned to ice when he thought about the sad excuse of a man he once called 'Dad', "Oh right... well it really isn't that important," Sonny shrugged, looking down at his hands, "Was there anything else you wanted to know about me?"

Rudy sat up and looked Sonny in the eyes, he pressed his lips together and leaned back against the wall, "I want to know what happened to your dad... please, Sonny."

Sonny stared at Rudy and then looked down and rubbed his eyes, "He left when he found out I was gay," Rudy was silent, so Sonny continued, "My mom first found out, and then my dad did... he threatened my life and then wanted to kick me out onto the streets again, but my mom defended me. He didn't really feel like my dad anyway so I don't miss him... I actually kind of hate him." Sonny was now glowering and Rudy was shocked. He's never seen Sonny so mad before.

"How long have you been homeless before you went back to your mom? How did it happen?" Rudy asked.

"I ran away because I was being judged and bullied and picked on every single day... I figured now that I knew better and that I had more freedoms because I was in highschool, that I could just simply run away... I did it while I was in detention. That's actually how I..." Sonny paused and bit his lip when he felt a strain behind his eyes.

"That's how you met Joel, right?" Rudy asked, his voice lowered. Sonny looked at Rudy and nodded. "Why did you two break up? If you don't mind me asking,"

Sonny chuckled and rubbed the back of his head, the pain seemed to reduce, "Complications,"

"Was it because of me?" Rudy asked in almost a silent whisper that was hard to hear.

"N-no," Sonny whispered back, looking at Rudy's face, even though they were a little too close to each other, "Why would you say that," But he knew why he would think that.

"Because I kissed you," Rudy whispered and leaned his forehead against Sonny's, "I'm so sorry,"

Sonny closed his eyes and breathed in the heat that seeped from Rudy's breath. Sonny had a weird feeling between his legs and his heart was pounding fast and hard. All he wanted to do was inch a little closer and seal the deal with the devil. But Sonny didn't trust him... did he? Rudy was the one who tore him and Joel apart... Rudy was the one who made Sonny so confused... Rudy was the one who introduced him to new friends... Rudy was the one who cared about him...

"No... it wasn't you. It was me. To be honest, I sort of liked the rebellion," Sonny whispered back and moved his fingers to remove the hair in front of Rudy's eyes.

Rudy slowly pulled his head back to look at Sonny, his eyes illuminated by the redness of his crying. The sapphire blue was as vibrant as ever and Sonny was slowly being reeled in deeper... Rudy looked down at Sonny's lips a little longer then comfortable and then back at his eyes. Rudy felt deep inside that he shouldn't kiss Sonny, that it would mess everything up again, but he hungered for a comfort that Sonny was willing to give. Rudy crept centimetre by centimetre closer to Sonny and closed his eyes.

Sonny held the back of Rudy's neck as they joined lips. Sonny's eyes fluttered closed and he felt the heat of the kiss warm up his entire being. His headache was gone. Rudy rested his arms around Sonny's neck as the kiss deepened. Rudy felt happy and content. Sonny felt betrayal and rebellion... but he liked it.

* * *

**AN: I know, I know... PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME. This is probably a terrible chapter to read after such a while of no updates, but future chapters WILL BE BETTER! I promise! Reviews are lovely as always, xo. **


	10. Chapter 10 Cusp

**AN: Enjoy!**

* * *

Joel quickly got his shit together, pulled his coat on, fumbled with his shoes, and booked it out the door with Sofi running to catch up. They jumped into the car and Joel quickly started it, almost drowning the engine, but managing to make it rev before speeding off down the road. Sofi nervously clutched onto the truck seats as Joel cut a red light.

He was headed to the hospital.

Just minutes before all of this happened, he was having dinner upstairs with the Toufa's, talking about his new cleaning job and how tiring it was. He enjoyed coming home after a long, tiring day of working and just sitting down and eating meat. And when he meant meat, he meant heavily-BBQ-coated chicken wings.

He was later chilling out with Sofi in the TV room, her mother went grocery shopping. Joel felt like curling up and dying. He wasn't sure if he should really take Kat's advice and call his "mystery girl" or not. He wasn't sure if he was emotionally ready to face Sonny yet, but his heart was tugging on his brain and forcing him to commute. Sofi agreed with Kat and tried to urge Joel to give Sonny a call, even though her voice was dripping with jealous venom that Joel didn't really notice.

He just played with his phone, changing his ringtone a million-and-one times, commanding Siri a couple times and asking her whether or not he should call Sonny. Siri didn't seem to like him today and simply replied with something obscene, so he just gave up and called Sonny. His heart was beating so loud in his chest, but Sofi held his hand tightly. He didn't realized she was doing it, he was too busy waiting to hear that voice he's been killing himself over.

It was almost at the last ring and he was feeling hopeless, deciding to hang up, but then he heard a click and a screech of bad reception.

"H-hello? Sonny?" Joel asked into the phone, looking at Sofi's concerned expression.

"Hey Joel! Is Sonny with you? Please tell me he's alive! He forgot his phone here," She laughed.

Joel raised an eyebrow as Sofi gave him a concerned look, clearly hearing everything the loud women on the other line was saying.

"N-no Francis, Sonny didn't come over..." Joel said cautiously, looking at Sofi and her mother for any conferment.

"Ha ha, nice try Zimmerman. Can you let me talk to him quickly? I just want to make sure he's okay,"

"Francis, did Sonny say he was going to my house?" Joel asked slowly.

There was a pause, "He's seriously not there?" She croaked.

Joel sighed, "To be completely honest with you, we kind of... don't talk anymore," Sofi winced. Joel silently cursed as he knew that was the wrong thing to say.

"Excuse me!? What the fuck did you do? What the fuck did _he _do? What's wrong with my son, Zimmerman? You better tell me right now what the hell is going on or I swear I'll contact the police!" She screamed.

"Please calm down!" Joel shouted back, "Please, Francis, did you try to call him? Does he have any close friends that he might've recently talked to? Look around in his room," Joel asked, excusing himself from Sofi's grasp and walking into the other room. Sofi followed.

"My son wouldn't lie to me, Joel," Francis sounded scared.

"I know, but did you two get into any arguments in the last twenty-four hours? Maybe he ran away again," Joel tried. Sofi smacked her forehead.

"Fuck! We didn't have any arguments! Joel, what if he's hurt? What if he's dead!? I'll contact the police and you, please Joel, look around town!" A click assured Joel that she hung up.

Joel was in a panic now. His boyfr- his... well, Sonny, was missing and if he didn't find him soon, Francis was going to have his head on a plate. Sofi was already on the phone with the police by the time Joel hung up and gasped for a struggling, calming breath.

"The police said they heard a phone call concerning a mild accident with Sonny Moore. I know where he is, but you're not going to like the answer..." Sofi said cautiously to Joel and watched as he rushed around to grab his coat and shoes and keys. Sofi chased after him out the door.

* * *

Sonny watched Rudy as the boy snored quietly in his sleep. What did he just do? He just made-out with the enemy that tore his relationship apart. As much as Sonny felt sorry for Rudy, he shouldn't have kissed him. He shouldn't have let those eyes reel him in and turn him into a mindless slave. Sonny had to take control of himself before he did something really stupid.

The nurse asked Sonny a few hours ago if he was hungry, and Sonny shook his head. He regretted that now. He was starving and the pain hurt more than his injury, but he didn't mind. He deserved this. He deserved this pain for being one stupid son of a bitch.

Nonetheless, Sonny moved the hair out of Rudy face and kissed his cheek. He wasn't sure what it was about Rudy that made him feel this way, but he couldn't get the fact out of his head that maybe he was falling in love all over again...

Sonny squeezed his eyes shut as he started to cry. Tiny sobs echoed through the empty room, but he tried to muffle them with the rough pillow the hospital acquired. Sonny was so confused and in so much pain that his mind couldn't think anymore. He removed the pillow from his face and looked down at it. He could suffocate himself, couldn't he? He could hit his head against the wall if he wanted to. What if he jumped out the window...

Sonny looked over to his right and saw the tiny window.

Would he fit?

Sonny slowly peeled himself away from Rudy's grasp and slowly steadied himself on solid ground. He took a couple deep breathes and felt that his head didn't hurt anymore. He walked over to the window slowly and eyed it. He looked down. If he jumped out this window and landed on the patch of concrete that surrounded the garden, he could have a quick and easy death.

Sonny closed his eyes and took a step back. _What am I doing?_

"Sonny?" A groan behind him mumbled.

Sonny turned around and looked at Rudy. He was sitting up and rubbing his eyes, his hair all messed up. He looked much younger now.

"Good morning, Rudy. How was your sleep?" Sonny asked with a smile.

"Pretty back-aching, actually," He chuckled, his eyes still closed. "I think you're allowed to leave soon, right? After all the tests yesterday?"

Sonny nodded and walked over to the bed. He sat down and looked at Rudy as he yawned. A bright blue eye opened and it looked right at Sonny, then the other. Sonny chuckled and looked down at Rudy's hand. He gave it a light stroke and then looked back up at Rudy. Surprise overcame his looks and Rudy choked a laugh.

"Wait, so we actually...?"

Sonny nodded.

"And you didn't...?"

Sonny shook his head.

Rudy just stared with disbelief and cleared his throat before giving a nervous chuckle.

"Wow..." He whispered and looked back at Sonny, "You'll have to remind me how it felt, because it was so unreal for me,"

Sonny brushed the back of his fingers across Rudy's cheek and then leaned in. Rudy connected the space between them and pressed his lips against Sonny's softly. He hummed in pleasure against Sonny's mouth and then the two of them departed. Sonny just kept the subtle smile that was on his face all this time as he watched Rudy, who had his eyes closed, take a deep breath in through his nostrils and then exhale as he looked at Sonny.

"Wow..." Rudy whispered.

"You already said that," Sonny whispered back and laid back on the bed, keeping eyes contact with Rudy.

Rudy smiled and laid next to Sonny, covering him in a loving embrace.

Sonny closed his eyes and let a few tears fall from his eyes.

* * *

Joel honked his horn as he and Sofi were stuck in a traffic jam. There was an accident far ahead and Joel couldn't even see what was going on, all he knew was that the hospital was still miles away and he wanted to scream and rip his hair out.

Sofi kept worryingly glancing at Joel every time he growled in frustration. She just sighed and rested her head against her hand, looking out the window into the city. Joel still obviously had strong feelings for Sonny, and Sofi wanted to be happy, but she just couldn't bring herself to celebrating such a love that she despised. She was actually so happy when Joel told her he was single. She thought that meant he would spend more time with her, but all he does now is cry and whine about Sonny. She stared at the CN Tower for almost forty minutes until Joel broke the silence once more.

"I know this is kind of random, but how long have you lived here in the city for?" Joel asked, his tone completely calm.

Sofi turned to look at Joel, he was still staring out his dashboard into the traffic.

"Maybe five years or so. What about you?" She asked.

"All my life," He responded, "Well, I was born in Niagara Falls, actually,"

Sofi nodded and looked down at her purple nails.

"What brought you to the city?" He asked her.

"Joel, this small-talk is nice and all, but-"

"I just asked a question, I'm curious," Joel interrupted, shooting Sofi a stern look, but then looking away and sighing, "Sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to,"

"I wanted to grow up to become a singer." She replied. Joel looked at her, "I lived out in the country with my parents until they got divorced. My mom wanted to change our lives so she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I told her I wanted to sing."

The traffic started to budge and Joel quickly scooted the car up a few metres before stopping again.

"She had all these big plans for me. She was going to bring me into the city and to a bunch of interviews, and buy me my own record label, and build me a studio in the basement... but I guess nothing really turns out the way we want it, right?" She looked out the window at the tower once again.

Joel looked at Sofi and smiled.

"Well, dearest Sofia Toufa, I promise that if I ever get my own record label by some random phenomenon... you'll be the first one I sign,"

Sofi looked at Joel and gave a small smile, "Thank you, Joel,"

He smiled back and then went along with the traffic until they were finally on their moving way back to the hospital.

* * *

Sonny opened his eyes and felt no close presence. Rudy left already? Sonny rolled onto his back and looked around the room. Something on the chair caught his eye. It was a note.

He got out of bed and walked over to read the note.

_If you're awake and I'm not here, just know that I'm out in the lobby waiting room. Ask a nurse to bring me back if you need company. I just needed some breakfast. ~Rudy_

Sonny was considering bringing Rudy back in, but then decided that it was best just to chill out for a bit and try not to fuck everything up.

Sonny looked back at the window and then looked away. He wasn't about to pull that bullshit again. He wasn't about to be hauled into a mental institute for being suicidally insane. He was close before, but he wasn't about to try that again.

About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Sonny moaned and rubbed his eyes. It was probably Rudy.

"Come in," He called.

"Hi, mister Moore? There's someone here to see you,"

"Bring them in," Sonny said lazily and waited to see Rudy.

Sonny's face instantly fell and he felt sick to his stomach when Joel stepped into the room. Sonny bit his lip and looked away, willing himself not to cry again.

"How did you find me?" Sonny whispered.

"Your fucking mom, that's how," Joel sounded angry. Even though he was, he truly didn't want to make Sonny feel like it was all his fault, "What were you thinking, running off with your friends and leaving your fucking phone at home? Making everyone worried sick about you because you disappear for a night!"

"Never bothered anyone before!" Sonny yelled back, "And why do _you _care so much? As far as I know, we're not together anymore. What I do to myself doesn't involve you anymore." He fought back tears.

Joel stared at him in disbelief.

"Hey Joel, I-" Sofi walked in the room and then stopped talking when she saw the conflict.

Sonny looked at Sofi and gave a sarcastic smile to Joel.

"Oh, I see what's going on," Sonny nodded.

"Sonny, don't be stupid, I-"

"I'm not fucking stupid, Joel! You are! Don't you _ever _talk to me again. I don't even understand why I ever loved you," Sonny said it all too fast without thinking first and he quickly regretted it.

"You don't know why you loved me...?" Joel's entire face quickly faded from anger to sadness.

"That's not what I meant, Joel," Sonny covered his face with a hand and sighed, "You know I didn't mean it like that,"

"Than how did you mean it?" Joel asked quietly.

Sonny looked at Sofi who was awkwardly trying to find an excuse to leave, but Joel was blocking the doorway. Sonny closed his eyes.

"Sofi, can you please leave?" Sonny whispered.

Sofi nodded quickly and almost pushed Joel out of the way to evacuate.

Joel looked at Sonny and watched as a tear fell.

"Joel... I think I fell out of love with you..." Sonny confessed.

Joel looked at the floor but didn't shed a single tear.

"I loved you, I truly did, but something was... missing in our relationship,"

"Like what?" Joel asked quietly, peering up at Sonny through his lashes.

Sonny thought for a minute, but then pressed his lips together.

"I wish I could've given you more, Sonny, but I can't. I'm not rich; I'm sorry. I'm not good-looking; and I apologize for that."

"Joel, I don't care about money. And you're very attractive. It's just..." Sonny took a deep breath in and shook his head, "I don't know,"

"Please Sonny, just tell me," Joel was almost on the verge of tears, but he stayed strong, "We can try to make things normal again if you just tell me what it is that's missing,"

"Joel..." Sonny shook his head again and wiped the tears from his cheeks, "You are not the problem in this relationship..."

Joel looked at Sonny with begging eyes and bit his lip. Sonny looked down at the blankets.

"I don't think... I'm ready for this,"

"Ready for what?"

"For this... _relationship_." Sonny sighed, "We grew up quite a bit since we first met. We grew up trusting each other with all our hearts but don't you realize what that's doing to us? I trust you so much that I allow you to live in the basement of some attractive chick that's supposedly your _'friend'_. I, without question or concern, allow you to fucking watch _porn_ whenever you want. I trust that you would never cheat on me. You trust me so much that you don't think I ever cheated on you. Don't you think it's just a little strange, Joel?"

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Joel looked at Sonny, "You cheated on me?"

"No! But do you understand what I'm saying?" Sonny asked in a plead.

"I understand," Joel narrowed his eyes at Sonny and then looked at the ground, "So who's _Rudy_?"

Sonny's heart fluttered and he instantly stopped his crying. Joel looked up with piercing eyes, waiting for his ex's reply.

"R-Rudy is just a friend," Sonny lied.

"I know you're lying, Sonny," Joel sighed, "I know you like him more than that. I know you two did something I wasn't supposed to know about, don't fucking lie to me,"

Sonny opened his mouth to object, but nothing came out. That's when a tear caught Joel by surprise when it fell out of his own eye. He quickly wiped it away and shook his head. He turned and faced the door, ready to leave.

"Joel!" Sonny called.

Joel looked at Sonny for a while, waiting for him to say those three words he's been dying to hear all this week. Sonny couldn't get himself to say it. Joel chuckled and wiped more tears away as he left the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

Sonny's mom took him out of the hospital and Rudy went with them back to the apartment. Francis had no shame in yelling at her son infront of his friends. No shame at all. But Rudy didn't seem to mind. He held Sonny's hand tightly under his jacket so he could comfort Sonny without angering his mother even more.

"I can't believe you would run off like that without telling me! Without telling Joel! I can't believe you two broke up! What did he do to you? I'm just glad your friend was there to keep you safe. What's your name again?" She ranted.

"Rudy, ma'am," Rudy nodded and gave her a sweet smile.

Sonny didn't say a word until they got home. The two boys were allowed out of Francis's sight for a while until Rudy's parents -or his aunt and uncle- came to pick him up.

Rudy made himself comfortable in a desk chair as Sonny flopped onto the bed and sighed. Rudy looked over at the window and realized it was bolted shut. He was about to ask, but Sonny was already speaking.

"I tried to kill myself," He stated. Rudy looked at Sonny in surprise, "That's why the windows are bolted."

"Why did you want to kill yourself?"

"I was being bullied once again, but it happened two years ago. I don't think about that junk anymore," He lied.

Rudy nodded and Sonny looked over at him with a little smile.

"You can come closer if you want," He patted the space beside him.

Rudy smiled and immediately joined Sonny on the bed. It didn't feel so surreal anymore, it felt soothing, actually.

Rudy turned to face Sonny and started to finger his hair. Sonny looked over at the boy and smiled.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

Rudy shrugged and fought a little smile that played on his lips. He made his fingers "walk" across Sonny's forehead and Sonny laughed. Rudy smiled and walked his fingers onto Sonny's chest. His hand slowly laid flat on one of Sonny's pectorals and Sonny chuckled, closing his eyes, allowing it. Rudy was very surprised at this. He remembered not even a few days ago he was almost repulsed at Rudy's touch, but now he liked it? Rudy slid his hand down Sonny's chest and onto his abdomen.

Sonny opened his eyes and looked at Rudy. Rudy looked back at Sonny and almost jumped when he felt a cold hand press against his own. His heart raced as his hand was being raised. Shit, he did something wrong. He felt so stupid and was about to pull his hand away until it started to lower back down. Rudy watched as his hand was placed on the rim of Sonny's jeans.

Rudy pressed his lips together and Sonny just closed his eyes and let his face go completely calm. Rudy cautiously sat up straight and looked down at Sonny's jeans. He used both his hands to unbutton the button and then he slowly zipped down his zipper. Rudy went limp when Sonny grabbed his wrists and placed both his hands on either side of his pants.

"W-won't your mom come in?" Rudy asked, eyeing Sonny cautiously.

"Did you lock the door?" Sonny asked in a husky tone.

Rudy looked at the door and jumped up when he saw it wasn't locked. He quickly locked it and returned back to position. He hooked his thumbs into Sonny's belt loops and then tugged his jeans down. He held in a groan when he saw Sonny's growing erection under the fabric of his boxers. Sonny sat up and then grabbed Rudy's face into a kiss. Rudy forgot how to breathe as soon as he felt Sonny's tongue shoot into his mouth. He fought with it with his own tongue and moaned. Sonny took one of Rudy's hands away from the back of his neck and rested it on his waist.

Sonny rolled on top of Rudy and then departed from his lips to look into those blue eyes. Rudy watched with wide eyes and Sonny slid down his body and began to fumble with the button on Rudy's jeans.

Rudy closed his eyes and took in a deep breath and Sonny tugged down his pants to see a bulge.

_"I know you're lying, Sonny. I know you like him more than that. I know you two did something I wasn't supposed to know about, don't fucking lie to me,"_

He paused for a second and then fought with himself to pleasure Rudy.

_"I wish I could've given you more, Sonny, but I couldn't. I'm not rich; I'm sorry. I'm not good-looking; and I apologize for that."_

He could see Joel's face clearly, how hurt he looked, how much pain and confusion he was going through.

_"I'm not fucking stupid, Joel! You are! Don't you ever talk to me again. I don't even understand why I ever loved you,"_

Sonny sighed and sat down next to Rudy's long legs. Rudy grew confused and pulled his pants back onto his waist, sitting up and putting a hand on Sonny's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Rudy asked in a whisper.

"I don't know," Sonny said, barely audible and let the tears run down his face.

Rudy held him.

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa! xoxo **


	11. Chapter 11 Nodlove

**AN: Oh my gosh, you guys are great! You should've seen my face when I read your wonderful reviews! All I could say now is thank you so much for everything! Your support and love for this story! I hope you all keep reading; love you all!**

* * *

"So how did it go?" Sofi asked, peering at Joel carefully in the car as they drove back to their house.

Joel just shook his head and let out a shaky breath. Obviously not good. Sofi wanted to so badly hug Joel and comfort him. She remembered feeling this way once before, like the whole world was against her and she felt hopeless... well, that's what she thought Joel felt like.

Sofi sighed and leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes and just meditating on the way she felt about this whole situation. She didn't like it, of course! It was making her best friend upset and no matter what she offered to help, he wouldn't accept any. He was so stubborn.

Sofi heard a light gasp come from Joel and quickly looked over. He was crying.

* * *

It was the next morning and Sonny stayed in bed, listening to the loud radio alarm and not moving an inch. He was sick. No, not physically sick; mentally sick. He wanted to curl up into a tight little ball and wither away. His stomach painfully begged to be fed, but he just ignored it. He didn't deserve the pleasure that came with food. He was ready to just give up.

"Sonny, babe?" A knock on the door, "Can I come in?"

Sonny really didn't want any visitors, but he allowed his mom to enter the room. She came over to his bedside and shut the alarm off. She felt his forehead.

"I know you're bullshitting being sick," She frowned. Sonny sighed, "But you can stay home anyway,"

Sonny looked at Francis in surprise as she smiled. She sat down on the bed next to him and began braiding his hair.

"I remember I was about your age when I broke up with my first boyfriend. It was tragic, yes, because I was in love with him, but I learned to overcome it. He was a first boyfriend after all," She said softly, "Not saying that you weren't in love with Joel, but you can't let that control your life, Sonny." She kissed the side of his shave head and smoothed out his hair, "Did you want breakfast? The hospital said you didn't eat anything all day yesterday. You must be starving,"

"I'll make something when I get up," Sonny assured her.

She smiled and then got up from the bed and walked toward the door, "I have to go to work soon; my number is on the fridge. There's eggs and ham in the fridge and fresh bread on the counter. Call me if you need anything,"

"Ok," Sonny smiled, "Oh, and mom," Sonny called. Francis turned around to look at Sonny, "Thank you. I love you," Sonny said quietly.

Sonny's mom smiled, she was relieved she finally did something right.

"Love you too, baby," She nodded and left the room.

And with that, she was gone. And Sonny was alone once again.

He enjoyed the silence now and wanted to so desperately use this valuable time to sleep, but that was interrupted when his cell phone vibrated, telling him that there was a message in his inbox.

He knew it was Rudy. Who else would it be? Wouldn't be Joel. Sonny figured Joel was probably upset with him. Sonny didn't want to talk to him either right now. But, nonetheless, he checked his phone. And to his surprise, it was Lilah.

He sat up straight, fully awake now and read the message slowly.

_"Hey Sonny, sorry to hear you had a little trip to the hospital. Are you alright? Text me back ASAP," ~Lilah_

Sonny gnawed on his lip and then listened intently for any sign or noise that assured him his mother was still in the house. All he heard was a subtle goodbye and the door slamming shut. The metal lock had clicked and Sonny knew he was now alone.

He pressed the "call back" button and pushed the phone back his hair to his ear. A buzzing sound grew loud on the phone and then Lilah's voice loud and clear over the receiver.

"Hey Sonny, I heard what happened, Rudy told the gang everything! Are you okay?" Lilah panted, almost like she was out of breath from running.

"Yeah, I'm alright, just a little bump on my head, that's all," Sonny's anger boiled deep inside him. He couldn't believe Rudy would tell everyone what happened. Sonny quietly stared as Lilah rambled on about nothing. His mind couldn't function.

They all knew what happened.

"Isn't that right?" Lilah asked.

Sonny shook the negative out of his head and tried to remember what Lilah had just said.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Lilah sighed, "I said thank god Rudy just so happened to be at the book store when you slipped and hit your head or you might've been laying out in the cold for a while."

"... Book store?" Sonny paused and pulled his eyebrows into a half-worried half-angered expression.

"Yeah, you probably hit your head really hard so you don't remember that, but Rudy was just walking past the book store and saw that you slipped exiting it. You hit your head on the metal railing and fell to the ground. You must've slipped on ice. Rudy brought you to the hospital and registered you in and everything. He said he was even willing to pay the fee for the hospital visitation, but then he remembered that we have free health care." She laughed, "Rudy cares about people a lot, sometimes a little too much. He said he insisted that the doctors keep you in a little longer to make sure you didn't have any minor injuries, but the doctors just laughed and said you'd be perfectly fine to go back home."

Sonny thought about this and tried to let this new information sink in. When it did, he found himself smiling and speechless.

Rudy really did care about how Sonny felt about this whole confusing relationship between them. Sonny was starting to figure out why he found Rudy so intriguing. Did Sonny have an attraction towards him? Of course he did. Did Sonny like him? Absolutely. But was Sonny slowly slipping into a hopeless love? He hoped to God he wasn't. He prayed to God he wasn't.

He didn't want to be sucked in again... but he was.

* * *

Joel was sitting at the edge of the bed and looking out the tiny window that peeked right from the ceiling on his wall. It was the only visible view from the downstairs of Sofi's house, but it was really all he needed.

Joel could see the tall building and the dark sky and the smog rising from the roofs. The honking and screeching of the cars were like a lullaby to him now. The dogs barking and cats fighting and people yelling and talking to each other silently put him to sleep. It was everything he needed.

He tried to pry Sonny's face out of his memory. He tried to hook up with women again, but it would never work. He always requested doggy-style so he wouldn't have to look at their faces, and when he was in the heat of the moment, he would grab for dark locks of tangled hair and scream out his ex-lover's name. It really put the ladies off, but Joel didn't give a shit. He just went back home and cried like a child.

Joel blew out the smoke of the cigarette he was holding so tightly that it threatened to break. He gnawed on his lip and then pushed himself off the bed to get a better view outside. Meowington's jumped down from his curling spot on the bed and purred against Joel's leg.

"Hey there, fatass," Joel smiled down at the cat and pet it soothingly.

A groan, followed by the rustling of sheets made Joel turn his head to see a raven-haired women with Hispanic features pull the sheets off her naked torso.

Kat was sitting up and stretching her tattooed arms out in front of her, her eyes still closed and makeup-less. He rubbed her eyes and then opened them to look at Joel.

"Hey babe," She yawned, "Come back to bed," She pulled the covers slightly down and Joel gave her a tiny smile.

He walked over to the bed and crawled into it again. Kat instantly took Joel's cigarette and smoked it herself, wrapping her arms around Joel's long and slender body and nestling up into his hair.

No, they didn't have sex. Kat refused it, even though Joel didn't want it anyway. He needed company and Kat was there to provide it. Joel didn't want to invite Sofi for an overnight stay, in fear that her mother would break down the door and assume the worst and kick Joel back out onto the streets.

Joel couldn't afford to be homeless at this state. He would probably end up killing himself.

Kat thumbed away the tears that mindlessly leaked from Joel's eyes. Kat kissed his hair and sighed.

"You're so fragile," She chuckled lightly.

"I know," Joel mumbled and wiped away his own tears and taking back his cigarette, "I hate it,"

"No, you shouldn't! It's a rare trait for a male to have," Kat patted his shoulder and then hoisted herself off the bed.

Joel looked back at her as she bent over. He stared at her nude ass for a split second, then looked down at the sheets when she sprung back up with a shirt in hand. She rushed around and pulling her clothes on after she glanced at the clock.

"You late for something?" Joel asked, resting his head on his hands.

"No, not really, but I should get back to my place and start packing for the week." She said, pulling on her pants and then grabbing her wallet and keys off the night table to stuff in her pocket, "I'm going to my friend's house in Matawa for the week. Takes thirteen hours or so to get there, so it's better if I leave either today or tomorrow."

"Ah, sounds nice,"

"You should come," Kat smiled at Joel and flopped on the bed, "It would be a good break away from your troubling life," She mocked and then laughed.

Joel rolled his eyes but smiled, "Maybe,"

"Oh just come, here, I'll help you pack. You'll love it there." Kat got off the bed once again and flung Joel's closet open.

Joel sighed and laid back down on the bed.

It was still early in the morning and he was not looking forward to driving with a bunch of strangers for thirteen plus hours... but then again, it might take his mind off of Sonny.

Joel stared up at the ceiling. Even though he didn't want to lose Sonny for good, he knew the best he could do was to let him go. Let him venture the world and different people for as long as he wanted. Joel knew that he still wanted Sonny, but his heart begged him not to try to get involved anymore. It was tearing Joel apart, but at least he had good friends to look to...

Friends.

He sat up and watched as Kat neatly folded his worn-out plaid shirt and fixed it in a neat pile of already-folded items. Joel smiled and then got off the and walked around to Kat's side.

Kat looked at him and smiled. He gave a tiny smile and then rested his hand on her shoulder. She surprisingly looked at it and then looked back at Joel in shock and confusion. Joel brushed his fingers across her cheekbone and watched her eyelashes flutter.

"Can I kiss you?" Joel whispered.

Kat looked deeply into his eyes, searching for reassurement, and when she found it, she silently nodded and then followed Joel's lips as they got closer to hers.

Joel didn't feel like himself anymore, but he liked the feeling of Kat's lips; warm, full, and a little moist. He could taste a hint of morning breath, but it didn't bother him. He rested a hand gently on her waist and brought her closer to him.

She placed her hands on his chest and pulled her face away from his to look into his eyes.

"A-are you sure you want to do this right now?" Kat asked sincerely.

Joel chuckled and examined Kat's flushed face. He didn't say a word, he just kissed her again.

After a minute in their passionate phase, they broke free from one another. They looked at each other for a long time until Kat cleared her throat and looked to the ground. Joel raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.

Kat shook her head and gave him a little smile, "Let's just... continue packing, alright?"

Joel was confused... was she not happy about the kiss, or maybe that was just how women reacted? Joel never paid attention to the women he kissed, but Kat was different in a way. There was something he really liked about her.

* * *

Sonny was clutching his stomach in pain, curled into the fetal position as a loud grumble shook him. He felt nauseous, but every time he ran to the bathroom to throw up, nothing would happen. He dry headed into his pillow and then pressed his lips together and hardened his expression.

The house phone rang and Sonny picked it up. It was his mom who was just checking up on how he was doing and if he needed anything. Sonny responded with a subtle "no" which threw Francis off a bit, but excused herself from the phone to yell at a client at work. She said goodbye and Sonny hung up.

His pains went away and he walked into the kitchen to open the fridge. He took out a cooling pitcher of lemon water and poured himself a large glass. He gulped it down in seconds and then sat himself on the couch to watch some TV.

He mindlessly chewed on his last remaining un-chewed nail and sighed. He started this habit ever since he visited Joel's home... _Sofi's _home. Sonny never really liked the fact that his boyfriend might be bisexual. Sonny was never fond of that orientation, he didn't understand it nor did he ever fully accept it. He never knew a person could like both girls and guys on the sexual level, he found it odd.

Sonny remembered his encounters with women before in grade-school, but never did he like them like that.

Sonny replayed the argument he and Joel had at the hospital in his head again and closed his eyes tightly, begging himself not to cry. When he was sure he wasn't going to shed a tear, he reopened his eyes and looked at the cabinet under the TV.

He paused when he remembered what he'd stored in there. He got up and walked over, landing on his knees and opening the door. There held his 16th birthday gift from Joel: the Ableton Live Controller and beginners' CD-ROM. He didn't smile when he saw it like he thought he would. He just stared at it, emotionless. He used it every day for four months and praised the grounds Joel walked on for getting it for him. But as he looked at it now... the magic was gone.

Would he ever use it again? Probably not. But something deep inside him felt empty when he looked at the controller and ran his fingers across all the buttons. He took it out and dusted it off with the sleeve of his shirt before bringing it to the kitchen. He grabbed his laptop off his nightstand and then reunited it with the Ableton. He was hesitant as he watched his computer load up.

And as he set the program up and plugged in the extension, the smile he thought would never show up again, did. And he felt happy.

Was feeling happy ever this easy? No, not for Sonny.

He spent the rest of the day playing with sounds and effects and sooner or later brought out his keyboard and created tunes from that. When he was done, he sat back in the chair and re-played his song... he was proud that he finally created a new song. When his mother came home, he played the song for her and she smiled.

"It's pretty good. What are you going to call it?" She asked, turning on the stove, readying herself for dinner-making.

Sonny thought about this and then closed his eyes. When he did, all he saw was Joel's face at the back of his eyelids. He opened his eyes and looked down at his hands.

"'Not Love'," Sonny mumbled to himself.

"'NodLove'? I'm not sure if that's a real word, sweety, but alright." She laughed a little and started the blender.

Sonny wanted to correct her, but then gave up and looked back at his creation. He smiled and saved the file.

That night, Sonny was beginning to feel a little better and was invited to hang out with Rudy and his friends. Sonny agreed to. He really didn't need to be cautious when going out anymore. All he had to do was keep reminding himself that he didn't have a boyfriend, that he was free to do whatever he wanted. Sonny smiled on that thought, but at the same time he felt so small and insecure.

Rudy jumped up from his seat at the museum cafe and called Sonny over as soon as he entered the large building.

Sonny greeted everyone before taking a seat that Rudy saved just for him.

The rest of the evening went wonderfully and Sonny was exhausted, watching his friends jump and slide down the stairs of the museum. Sonny was caught by surprise when warm fingers slipped through his own. He looked at Rudy and gave him a tiny smile. Rudy smiled back and they just stood there, looking at each other.

"We'll see you guys at school tomorrow, okay?" Lawrence called out and wrapped an arm around Hannah.

Lilah gave us a subtle wave and a wink.

Sonny pressed his lips together and looked at the ground. Rudy caressed Sonny's cheek and made him look up again.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Rudy asked with a smile.

Sonny nodded and was led to the Honda.

Once inside, Sonny breathed in the familiar scent of pine and waited for Rudy to start the car. When he did, they drove off in a different direction. Sonny decided not to ask questions and closed his eyes and just let it be. He didn't care anymore where they went. He didn't want to go home.

Rudy pulled up to a familiar apartment. Sonny looked over at Rudy and Rudy smiled again. Sonny nodded and got out of the car while Rudy followed.

Once inside the apartment, Sonny realized that nobody else was home and immediately knew what was going on. He turned around and watched Rudy take his coat off, then his sweater, and then his shoes. Sonny just stood there and waited for Rudy to look at him, and when he did, there was no more smiling.

Rudy slowly walked up to Sonny and looked him in the eyes, dragging two hands up Sonny's coated torso and then latched onto the zipper. As he slowly pulled down the zipper, Sonny closed his eyes. The weight of the jacket was subtracted and sooner or later the sweater was too. Sonny wedged off his shoes and then looked at Rudy.

Rudy slid a hand down Sonny's arm and latched onto his wrist, leading him down the hallway. Sonny pressed his lips together, unsure why he was doing this, but glad he was. He had to get it off his chest before he found himself begging and crying at Joel's feet like he almost did last time.

Sonny went straight to the bed and stood there, watching as Rudy rushed to shut and lock the door before turning around and eyeing Sonny suspiciously, as if he thought this whole thing was some sort of test. Sonny just answered the question by removing his shirt and letting it drop carelessly on the ground.

Rudy licked his lips nervously and then eyed Sonny's torso. His eyes told a confusing story but Sonny wasn't about to try and read them, instead he undid his pants and used body language to get Rudy to touch him. Rudy did as he was telepathically told and ran cold fingers down Sonny's torso, watching every rib and muscle twitch and move to the foreign swoon.

Rudy slowly pulled Sonny's pants down to his ankles and then, while on his knees, removed his own shirt and stared anxiously at Sonny's face. Sonny nodded and closed his eyes when he saw Rudy quickly spring up and grab hold of Sonny's shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him into the mattress Sonny took a deep breath when he felt the last form of protection leave his ass.

An adventurous hand spread Sonny's legs apart and then began to stroke him from behind. Sonny inhaled again and let out a static moan into the sheets. Rudy gathered Sonny's hair over his shoulder and then kissed the tiny freckle hiding behind Sonny's neck before he licked it. Sonny didn't want this cheesy foreplay. He just wanted to get it over with.

Sonny grabbed onto Rudy's hand around his cock and tightened the grip. He heard a sharp breath come from Rudy as Sonny tried not to moan again. He moved Rudy's hand up and down his shaft and then let it go when he thought Rudy got the hang of it.

The friction was harsh, but Sonny didn't care.

"Don't stop," Sonny panted and Rudy obeyed.

Rudy was pumping his fist faster and panting as kissed Sonny's back. Sonny's mouth was agape and his eyes tightly closed, feeling a familiar build-up occur deep inside him. After a couple minutes later, Sonny was flipped around and quickly engulfed by Rudy. Sonny gasped. He was totally surprised by this and couldn't help himself from moaning and whining as Rudy worked him tongue like fucking magic.

Clutching onto the sheets, Sonny made a noise high enough to break glass, but instead he let out a gasp and released his tensing stomach just as Rudy pulled away. Slowly breathing in and out and trying to steady his breathing, he felt Rudy kiss at his stomach and chest where his release ended up. Sonny burned up suddenly as he realized that this was the first time anyone's sucked him off before.

Rudy was silent when he was done with kissing and collapsed next to Sonny. He took a deep breath in. Sonny looked at him and watched as his chest rose and fell quickly. Sonny pressed his lips together and looked down at the sheets, picking off some loose lint.

Rudy looked over at Sonny and smiled, still out of breath. Sonny gave him a tiny smile and curled up beside him. Rudy, with a little hesitation, wrapped his arms around Sonny.

"We should get these sheets cleaned before my aunt comes home..." Rudy said after a few moments of silence.

Sonny laughed, "I guess we should."

Sonny peeled away from Rudy and looked at his blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to say but he was starting to feel a little more comfortable with Rudy. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all?

Sonny pressed a slow kiss to his lips and the released, jumping up to find his clothes. Rudy stay motionless on the bed still, smiling up at the ceiling and closing his eyes.

* * *

**AN: I KNOW, I'M SUPER LATE WITH THIS CHAPTER AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF STUPID EXAMS! But exams are all finished now and I have more time to write, yay!**


End file.
